Comments on: Ask the M-Network: Mommy Track or No?

By: Sunday gathering - Happy Mother’s Day

Sunday gathering - Happy Mother’s Day — Sun, 10 May 2009 15:50:57 +0000

[...] Ask the M-Network: Mommy Track or No? [...]

By: * Weekly Highlights: May 10, 2009

* Weekly Highlights: May 10, 2009 — Sun, 10 May 2009 15:28:07 +0000

[...] Do You Do When You Can’t Afford Your Student Loan Payments? at Cash Money LifeMommy Track or No? Stay At Home Mom vs. Career Mom at Being [...]

By: bob

bob — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:31:33 +0000

I had a unique situation when I was a kid. My Mom is a school teacher and actually taught at my school. She got off at 3:00… the same time I did, and thus we rode to work together. My Dad had a job that allowed him to get off at 4:00. So he was home at 4:30. So even though both parents worked, we saw each other a lot.

My take on it is do what you feel is something you want to do. In general, if a stay at home mom means financial sacrifice, I’d say maybe consider at least a part time job because eventually, your kids are going to need money for college, and a stay-at-home-mom could mean that might not be possible if the income from a single working parent isn’t enough. So take that into consideration.

By: Abby

Abby — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:01:18 +0000

And yes, Jenni – my kids love their school! When I was a little girl, my mother explained to me that she worked (part-time as a nurse) not just because the money was important, but because it allowed her to be confident that she could always support us if needed. And it did happen – my father died before I finished high school.

Going back to work will let us attack some of our next tier financial goals: saving aggressively for retirement, putting more towards our kids’ 529 plans and paying down our mortgage faster. We could live without all of those things, but it is incredibly satisfying to be able to contribute to those goals, too.

By: Abby

Abby — Thu, 07 May 2009 13:54:53 +0000

Thanks to everyone for your comments and perspective. As it happens, I’ve recently accepted the lower-paying, less-demanding job. (Instead of accepting a high profile job with a major university, I took a quiet little gig with our local government.)

It’s a great fit – predictable hours, four blocks from home and just two blocks from our church’s school. I treasure the time I spent at home with my kids, but I really hear Dee’s comment – the longer I stayed out, despite doing a few freelance projects, the more I was convinced that going back at some point was getting farther and farther from my reach.

The comments about the math were dead on – because my commuting costs are zero (well, maybe I’ll wear out my shoes faster), the dress code is casual and there’s rarely a need for additional child care, I’m pretty confident that my take-home pay is stretching farther. On my first day here, I also got a nice little surprise – the contributions towards retirement are VERY generous, again helping to close the gap between the higher paying job and the one I accepted.

And I really appreciate the comments from Patrick, Gibble and Plonkee about my husband having choices, too. As I settle in, he’s looking into his options for a less demanding job.

As for the Mommy track issue – Plonkee, you’re absolutely right. I’d been reading studies about how often women do get mommy tracked and how our earnings suffer. But all of those studies seem to assume that every working person’s goal is to earn as much as possible. And that’s not where I’m at – nor do I think it will ever be where I’m at, regardless of where I live. (But yes, GrannyAnnie – this is a town packed with ambitious people!)

I really appreciate the input from the M-Network and readers. It’s nice to be reminded that there is no perfect answer. :)

By: Dee

Dee — Thu, 07 May 2009 05:28:55 +0000

I just want to put another perspective in. Six years ago I came home from my professional job. I started working from home five years ago to have some income and still be there for my children. Because of the economy my husbands income has dropped substantially this last year and I have been looking to go back to a 9-5. No one wants to think that career suicide or the mommy track is still out there, but it is. I have a degree. I have applied in my field where I had ten years experience and other positions as well. I have been told it’s too bad I took so much time off. That my working from home doesn’t really count. And I have also had to prove that I have kept up my computer skills, even though I use them on a daily basis. I am hopeful that I will find the perfect fit.

If your husband has a steady, safe position then you’ll be okay financially to stay and enjoy raising the children. On the other side should something happen to his position, then there are things you may have to face reentering the workforce.

By: Jenni

Jenni — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:28:14 +0000

There are some benefits to working too, depending on the job and the hours! I wouldn’t work long hours and take lots of trips away, but I work 7:30 to 4:00 four days a week at a well paying job and I think my kids (especially my older 5 year old) actually benefit from it! My 5 year old loves “school” and his friends and learns a ton there. I also think I appreciate the time I have with them more, since it’s not all day, day in and day out. I never blow up at them and really enjoy their company.
Also, I do think that it’s a good idea to make money if you can, while you can. Technically, we could scrape by on my husband’s income, but with my money we have been able to buy a home I am proud of, pay off all other debt, have a years worth of living expenses in savings, take vacations, etc (you get the idea). I grew up poor and really don’t like the feeling of scraping by, so this situation works for me! It’s not for everyone, but I don’t think staying at home always is either. Not trying to start any mommy wars, but I just wanted to give another perspective.

By: Janice

Janice — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:13:31 +0000

You will never be on your deathbed and regret the time you spent with your children. You WILL regret the time you spent away from your children and on an airplane…

By: GrannyAnnie

GrannyAnnie — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:11:11 +0000

When my kids were young, it was all the rage to have both parents work outside the home, and hire nannies, and be high powered IMPORTANT people. We women felt pressure from women’s lib to advance career opportunities for women. Interest rates were so high, both parents had to work to have a home. I would have KILLED to be able to stay at home and be a wife and mother, but this was very difficult, and few of us could pull it off. Those of us that did suffered from peer pressure. Sounds to me like there is a little peer pressure going on (DC has always been a CAREER town, for the ambitious and mobile) and the derogatory terms are “Mommy track” “Suicide”. If placing appropriate attention on your children is considered derogatory, then I’d say MOVE! Get the heck outta there. I’m older now, and I live in a fairly rural area, and the evenings and weekends are spent watching T-ball games and band concerts. I still work, and the hot topics at work are which teams are in which playoffs, which high school band is the best, and the fundraisers at church for youth camps. It occurs to me, putting it all into perspective, that THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT. Family. Not some company line, or career track. Choose whatever balance is right for you and your family. When you get to be my age, you will forget the names of all those coworkers, but you will never forget your children.

By: Rebecca Rivera

Rebecca Rivera — Wed, 06 May 2009 14:00:41 +0000

Hello! Before you consider any job, consider how much you will actually make with childcare costs, work clothes, eating lunches out, more gas for car, possible second car, additional taxes (will you working bump you up to a new tax bracket?), and more costs associated with working. If God is allowing you an oppuntunity to stay at home, that is a tremendous blessing. Use that time to really be with your kids. Also start a home business or work from home, around your schedule. Or if you really need time away from kids, volunteer, and swap childcare with another stay at home mom. I am a single mom to two boys (ages 11 & 5.) It has been my desire to be with them as much as possible, and God has blessed that. I was a nanny with them for years, and then I ran an in home daycare for the past three years. Both were alot of work, but I was able to be with my boys and focus on them as well as other kids I was watching. Now that my boys are a bit older I work in an office just 10 hours a week. My job is very accomadating and flexable. I am young (29) so I figure I can have a career if God will's, when my boys are older. But right now my boys are my career. -Becky in NJ Rebecca Rivera’s last blog post..give away, give away, give away