Our School Decision, and How We Got There

by Lynnae on April 29, 2009 · 82 comments

homeschool

I left you hanging with a little teaser on Monday, when I told you about the school budget cuts and my concerns about the upcoming school year.  I told you I was trying to decide between staying at public school, moving to a Christian school, or homeschooling.  A decision has been made.

Next year we are going to homeschool our children.  Both of them.  We have a daughter going into 6th grade and a son going into 1st grade, so it could get interesting trying to homeschool kids with that big an age gap.  I’m up for the challenge though.

What Went Into Our Decision

First let me say that a big underlying theme, so to speak, that runs through my life, is to be a good steward of what God has given me.  That’s the reason I try to be frugal, and it’s also the reason I take my children’s education so seriously.  As a parent, it’s my responsibility to make sure my children are getting what they need emotionally, spiritually, and educationally.  So here are some of the things we considered.

Quality of Education. This consideration pretty much took public school out of the running.  I suppose we could have kept them in public school and homeschooled after school, but then the lives of my kids would have been filled with school and not much else.  I don’t think that’s very balanced, and I can tell you the last thing my kids want to do when they get home from school is more school.

Our local Christian school has a pretty good program going, so that was a consideration.  But after looking at some curriculum online, we felt that we could also give them a quality education at home.

Socialization. This subject always comes up when you talk about homeschooling, doesn’t it?  The last thing I want to do is have my family become hermits in our own little world.

However, we’re active in church, and my son is into sports.  My daughter has some interests that she’d love to pursue, but hasn’t had much time because of…school.  So far I’ve been limiting my kids to one activity each plus church activities.  I’d be willing to loosen those standards, if we had a little more time in our day.  So this year my daughter is thinking about 4-H, as well as some sort of musical endeavor.

We’re also fortunate to live in a state where public school sports are required to accept homeschoolers onto their teams, provided homeschool students pass a standardized test each year.  We won’t be facing that for a while, though, as there are plenty of non-school centered sports activities for our kids.

The Personalities of Our Children. My son is an easygoing type of kid, who will probably thrive in any situation.  My daughter, on the other hand, is reaching that awkward preteen, middle school girl age, where she’s starting to compare herself to other kids.  And here conclusions haven’t been good.

We’ve been hearing a lot of “I’m stupid” and “I’m not pretty enough” from our daughter lately, and it’s concerning.  She needs a little extra time to grasp a concept, before she gets it, and she doesn’t get that much in public school, leaving her feeling stupid.

For her, I think it will be good to pull her out of a situation where she’s comparing herself to others.  Let her learn at her own pace and gain confidence in herself.  Teach her who she is in God’s eyes.  Then, if we ever decide to go back to school, hopefully she’ll be better equipped to stand up to the pressures that come with hanging out with other teenage girls.

Our Kids’ Feelings. We asked our kids how they would feel about each of the schooling options.  My son jumped at the chance to be homeschooled.  I’m not sure why, but we’re going with it.

At first my daughter was opposed to homeschooling, but open to Christian school.  When she realized that we weren’t going to isolate her at home and that she wouldn’t have homework every night with homeschool, she quickly decided that homeschooling was a pretty good option.

Finances. Finances are what finally knocked Christian school out of the running, though even if finances weren’t an issue, I think we might homeschool, just because of the above issues.  We’re not ruling out Christian school in the future, but for now, it’s not the right option for us.

Faith. As Christians, this was a huge part of our decision.  We want to teach our children to love the Lord with all their hearts.  To be able to weigh things that they’re faced with out in the big world against what the Bible says.  In public school, especially starting in the middle school years, we are concerned that they will be taught things that go directly against what the Bible says, and that’s not OK with us.

That’s not to say we won’t touch on controversial issues at home.  We most certainly will.  (Have you ever known me to step away from a controversial issue?)  But we want those issues taught in a controlled environment, where we know what’s being taught and are available to answer questions.  Homeschooling is the best option for nurturing our children’s faith at this point in their lives.

I’ll Be Blogging Our Homeschool Adventures

I’m sure as with every other issue I wrestle with, I’ll be posting about our homeschool adventures here on Being Frugal.net.  What you probably won’t be getting from me, at least the first year, is how to homeschool frugally.  Honestly, I don’t have a clue.

Because I’m not starting from kindergarten, I feel I don’t have a lot of room for error when it comes to homeschooling.  My kids, especially my daughter, need to stay up to standards.  Because I’m a homeschooling novice, I will most likely buy a prepackaged curriculum, which is more expensive than piecing things together.  I’m leaning toward Sonlight at the moment, though no firm decisions have been made.  It’s spendy, but it’s still less than private school.

We’ve made a one year commitment to homeschooling.  If we decide to continue on after that, I may look at some less expensive options.  But for now, I need to use something that gives me the confidence that my kids won’t fall behind.  And a prepackaged curriculum that tells me exactly what to do gives me that confidence.

So that’s where we’re at.  Next year is going to be quite the adventure.  I’m scared, but looking forward to it at the same time.

Photo by basykes.

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{ 78 comments }

1 womanofthehouse April 29, 2009 at 4:59 am

I applaud your decision to homeschool. It seems you have thought things through carefully. Your situation is similar to what mine was many years ago. We began homeschooling when our daughter was starting sixth grade and our other daughter was a little younger than your son. They have both loved it and thrived. Our oldest is graduating from high school this year. I say that to encourage you that homeschooling in the upper grades can be done and done very successfully too. :-) Just be aware that there will be lots of patience needed as everyone adjusts to your new life. Our first year was pretty challenging, but we persevered. Once we got into the groove, things got easier. Don’t give up and feel like a failure if things aren’t going as you imagined. Keep working at it and being patient with each other. This will be good for everyone’s sanctification! :-)

Both of our girls missed/are currently missing all that middle-school-girl angst, and no one is one bit sorry! I don’t think you will be either. They are very confident in themselves and in who they are as God has made them. They are being pushed around by every wind of fashion and “coolness.”

2 Nate @ Debt-free Scholar April 29, 2009 at 5:49 am

Congratulations! When you mention the socialization concern, I have to add my experiences.

I am a homeschooler. Actually, right now I am in 11th grade. If you look at my Linked In profile, you will see that I do not have any socialization problems. I have started three websites, build my own (small) lawn care business, and worked as a basketball referee. I have worked with kids and adults. And I am a 16-year-old “unsocialized” homeschooler!

In addition, I have many friends in the homeschooling community (None of which, by the way, have socialization problems). True I do not have thirty friends my own age, but neither do I have as much peer pressure. Most of my friends are ages 10 to 22 – a little bit more mixed than most public school students.

Anyway, congratulations on your decision!

God bless,
Nate

Nate @ Debt-free Scholar’s last blog post..Featured Sponsor: CollegePlus!

3 Pokeberry Mary April 29, 2009 at 5:50 am

We homeschooled too, 4 kids different ages for the whole thing. We were part of a large support group which enabled the kids to make freinds and participate in group things. We even had coop classes and a debate club.

I think though, there is one thing I wish I’d understood– homeschooling is not a guarrantee that the kids will all do everything you want them to or end up believing what you believe–its a good foundation but ultimately they are their own person, which you will find out more and more as they grow older.

I’ve seen lots of hs familys go through the ‘teen years’ and there were still bumps in many of the roads. The families however seemed to be very strong and generally made the best of every situation and came out well.

When I was starting out I thought my kids would just somehow follow all I taught them without any bumps– so I learned. ;)

Pokeberry Mary’s last blog post..Mojo Gets a Leash..

4 Lynnae April 29, 2009 at 6:10 am

@Nate – You have no idea how encouraging your comment is to me. Everyone, Nate has written a couple of guest posts here before, and we’ve emailed a bit. I never would have guessed he was in 11th grade. I figured he was in his mid-20s, because he’s so professional. Wow. Keep up the good work, Nate!

5 Amanda @ Mommy's Idea Book April 29, 2009 at 6:48 am

Thanks so much for sharing your decision and reasons why to came to this decision. Since I too have been thinking about homeschooling my kids, your conclusions actually helped confirm many of the same things that have been going through my mind also. I wish you the best of luck and I’m sure you will do wonderfully as your kids’ teacher.

Amanda @ Mommy’s Idea Book’s last blog post..Tips for Family Vacation Planning, Part 2: Budgeting

6 Dana April 29, 2009 at 7:27 am

We also homeschool but only 1 of our 4 children. I also work at home and it can be challenging. Please while your children are in school now till the rest of the year do your research, check out a curriculum, prepare a schedule of the day (routines are very important) and prepare your house. Where will the kids study, do project, keep their books, etc. I wish I had been able to do that but with work (I do preschool/daycare), I was never able to fully do that because there are always children here. While it is quiet start preparing. In Oregon there will be a huge curriculum fair, with classes for parents and such, I believe in June, in Portland. If you are close to that or there is one close to you check it out. This will be my first one and I wish we had found something when we first did it but everything is trial and error. If you would like to talk more on this please e-mail me privately and I will help you the best I can. I love homeschooling but read things sometimes that almost sugarcoat it and then see dispair on parents faces because of things that come up that no one told them about, I think everyone should be prepared for the things that no one told them about. Make sure you have lots of support, encouragement, and never be afraid to ask questions and your journey will be one that you will never regret!

7 Servant April 29, 2009 at 7:31 am

I know God is going to honor this important decision you have made. Looking forward to hearing about your new endeavor. (I too was touched by Nate’s comment.)

Servant’s last blog post..The Next Step

8 Supermom April 29, 2009 at 7:37 am

I admire your decision. If I had it to do all over again, I would have homeschooled our children.

Supermom’s last blog post..Make it Monday – How to Sew a Round Tablecloth

9 Diann April 29, 2009 at 7:40 am

Lynnae,

Thank you for sharing your news regarding homeschooling. I imagine it wasn’t an easy decision. I’m sure you gain a lot of helpful information from homechoolers via your blog. I wish you all the luck and look forward to hearing about “Adventures in Homeschooling” in the future!

Diann’s last blog post..Enter to Win!

10 Lynnae April 29, 2009 at 7:44 am

@Dana – You’re absolutely right. I have signed up for the conference in Portland. It will be a stretch, as June is already a busy month for us, but it’s important.

I also have good friends who homeschool, and I’ve been leaning on them for information and support. And I’ve already gleaned a lot from the internet, too.

And yes, organization is at the top of my list for the things I need to accomplish by summer’s end! Great advice, and I’ll be taking all of it!

11 Kacie April 29, 2009 at 7:46 am

Way to go! I’m looking forward to reading about how things go.

As to the socialization aspect … being ‘socialized’ by a mean group of pre-teens is not my idea of a good time.

Kacie’s last blog post..Credit crunch could keep people in debt longer

12 Heather April 29, 2009 at 7:46 am

Well, I definitely pray that God will bless your decision. :) I’m sure you’ve lots of ideas already on curriculums – but with the age gap, you might think about Sonlight. Their first grade curriculum is a world history one and if you used the 5th grade (generally same topic studied in P.S 6th grade) you’d be on the same page for both children. :)

Looking forward to your “adventure” posts as well.

13 Kelly April 29, 2009 at 7:51 am

Kudos on the decision to home school. My daughter is only 13 months old, so I have a while before school, but I have considered home schooling. I have many teachers in my family, so I am not sure how their reactions will be. I don’t mean to take away from all they do for the next generation. My concern is more with what is being cut from school’s, enormous class sizes, etc. Absolutely nothing to do with the quality of teachers. I know that wasn’t your concern, but I feel I need to make clear that I have nothing but respect for teachers (well, most…there are always a few out there…) But I just feel so sad that my children will likely never get the quality public education that I received. And with so many people exploring their education options now days, there are plenty of co-ops and such that homeschooled children miss out on very little, especially when you look at what keeps getting cut from public schools.

Kelly’s last blog post..Be Still My Heart

14 shari April 29, 2009 at 7:52 am

I have done all 3 types of education-I applaud your decision and are considering this myself. May I suggest the Calvert school? It is awesome.
Best wishes!

15 Angelsong April 29, 2009 at 8:00 am

No one, not even the most dedicated classroom teacher, cares for and about your children as much as you and your husband do. I am confident that you will do just fine as a homeschooler. It is natural that you would feel some anxiety, because this is a big change, and the unknown is always a little scary. Take some time this summer and do some planning, and set up a schedule so that there will be some routine and structure. Check to see if there is a homeschool association in your area for support. Also, please check your e mail as soon as you can.

Angelsong’s last blog post..Finances are looking up

16 Orlandrea Wilson April 29, 2009 at 8:36 am

Congratulations on a wonderful decision. I homeschool my daughter and we both love it. She will be seven soon, and I always asked her if she thinks she might want to go to school with her friends. She always says no and tells me that she likes going on field trips three times a month, and having a park day with other homeschooled children. I also think that she likes that her day ends pretty early and the rest of the day is for her and I to “socialize” LOL

You and your family will be in our prayers as you embark on this awesome journey. Be Blessed

Orlandrea Wilson’s last blog post..Another Child…

17 Christina April 29, 2009 at 8:40 am

I’m excited to hear how your homeschooling turns out! My daughter is not even 3 yet but I have done enough research to decide that I will homeschool when the time comes.

Christina’s last blog post..Simplifying My Life

18 Denise April 29, 2009 at 8:50 am

Congrats on your decision. You mentioned 4H. We live in a small town and our 4H is very strong. We live in town and don’t have cattle or anything but they have lots of activities to be involved in.

Denise’s last blog post..Queen of Alll Things Awe-summm Award

19 Gretchen April 29, 2009 at 10:20 am

I’m glad you were able to make a decision. If you’re worried about curriculum, it might be worth looking into the charter schools that operate as web academies. I know this is a growing trend in Oregon. My cousin (who lives in St. Helens) actually homeschools her girls this way. I’m not sure all of the details, but here’s a link to one of these web academies to get you started: http://www.gbwebacademy.org
Also, I believe there is no cost associated with it, because it operates as a charter school, so your local school district will basically just give the money allotted for your kids’ education over to the charter school. Hope this helps you in your research!

20 Darla April 29, 2009 at 11:57 am

Lynnae, based on what you are saying about your daughter not grasping the concepts as quickly as needed to enjoy a school setting, I believe you have made the right choice 100%. No doubt about it.

I WISH, I SO WISH I would have realized what 6th grad was going to be like for my child who has not caught the concepts of social studies as fast as he has needed to (he’s still a straight B student, but dang, the stress!!!). One thing seems to roll into another and it’s affected every other subject. He’s lost his confidence EVERYwhere.

Maybe it’s just the age, maybe it’s the way 6th is “supposed” to be but it seems like an awfully hard way to learn the ropes of life.

Darla’s last blog post..Sofa Tables

21 Karen Bull April 29, 2009 at 12:02 pm

How exciting!!!! I have been homeschooling my two boys (16 and 14) for the past 5 years. I have always loved my children, well, because they were my children. However, after homeschooling them I can honestly say I not only love but like the men they are turning out to be.

I truly feel that God will bless you and your family as you start this new adventure.

22 bob April 29, 2009 at 12:25 pm

I’m not sure if I’m going to agree 100% with all the reasons you listed why you’re homeschooling your children. One of your biggest reasons seems to be out of fear what they might be taught in public schools in respect to Christianity. I come from a family of teachers dating back for generations. Any of them will strongly tell you that as a teacher, it is important to teach children to think for themselves and think objectionably. Yes, it is true that in public schools kids are taught a wide gamut of subjects ranging from the religions of the world, mathematics, geography, and so on as well as scientific theories.

In my opinion it is absolutely imperative that today’s children be exposed to as many different ideas as possible so they can again- learn how to be objective members of society by having the background knowledge of diverse subjects so that they have a better comprehension of the world around them. The irony is that people who know all sides of an issue tend to be more open minded and better capable of solidly identifying their own morals and ideology. If you feel know your beliefs, then you will feel confident in them if you know all sides of the story.

We live in a world where math and science is crucial for success. So in that regard I don’t support any notion of children being taught at home for the primary reason of cherry-picking what they should/should not be learning per their parent’s wishes and ideologies. That is doing nobody any favors, and especially not the child’s.

And in regards to socializing, well I read a few comments about how mean kids are these days. Yes, that’s true. They are mean, and always have been.Lord knows I came home crying many a time. But hard lessons in life are what builds character and strength. I knew quite a few kids who were totally home schooled, then later got to college and were utterly shocked as to how people behaved. They were completely unprepared for that experience and had to catch up socially to the rest of the other kids who had already long experienced the difficulties of their youths.

I really, really hate to sound like the bad guy here. But I feel pretty strongly about this issue having come from a family of public school teachers. I have no problem whatsoever with homeschooling. But I also feel that every child deserves access to the same knowledge privy to the average American.

23 Nate @ Debt-free Scholar April 29, 2009 at 12:45 pm

@ bob

You said, “I have no problem whatsoever with homeschooling. But I also feel that every child deserves access to the same knowledge privy to the average American.” I beg to differ.

First, what is the knowledge available in public schools across America? Aside from the pro-socialist agenda, the instruction level has been proven to be low. Homeschoolers have repeatedly scored higher on standardized tests than public schoolers. Understand, I am not saying that all schools are the same. Some homeschoolers do not do well in school, and some public schoolers do very well in school. However, the average home school student scores better than the average public school student.

Second, I am a living example of a homeschooler. I have been homeschooled since before 1st grade (I am now in 11th grade). The only time that I have ever set foot in a public school was for the PSAT last fall. Are my grades low? Once a year, I take the California Achievement Test, a standardized test required in Oregon, and I have scored in the 99th percentile since 3rd or 4th grade! I do not say this to boast, the honor is due entirely to the Lord; rather, I say this to emphasis my point – the average homeschooler does have access to more knowledge than the average public schooler!

I hope that this will encourage others out there who are considering homeschooling not to be discouraged by the fear that the education level will be lower.

God bless,
Nate

Nate @ Debt-free Scholar’s last blog post..10 Little Known Ways To Survive Finals Week

24 Faerylandmom April 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Doesn’t it feel great to have a decision like that behind you instead of in front of you? Homeschooling is going to be an adventure, and as a fellow novice, the biggest piece of advice I keep getting is to RELAX, and understand that you are NOT going to screw up their education. You’re going to do just fine. :-)

((Hugs))

Faerylandmom’s last blog post..To My Military Friends

25 Steph April 29, 2009 at 12:55 pm

I will be seeing you at the conference in Portland in June! I just started homeschooling my 1st grader this year, so I am pretty new to this as well. As another frugal mom, I will agree Sonlight is pretty expensive, but there are many other options out there- don’t count out My Father’s World which is MUCH cheaper.

We began homeschooling for many of the same reasons you are. As the wife of a public school teacher, we see many of the problems with the public school system. It was actually my husband who encouraged me to begin this process. We desire so much for our children to love learning and found the public schools didn’t foster the love we wish for.

26 Steph April 29, 2009 at 1:27 pm

@Bob-

It was the public school who told my academically gifted child within the first month of school that they had done “all they could do for him” that year and now we “need to wait for the other kids to catch up.” This is totally not meant to be snippy, but public school certainly didn’t want to educate my child.

27 Iva @ Horizontal Yo-Yo April 29, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Congratulations on your decision. It’s been my experience that new homeschoolers go for the boxed curriculum the first year, learning what they like and what they don’t like (or more importantly, what works for their kids and what doesn’t) and eventually creating their own curriculum, finding free resources, etc.

Good luck this next year. As a former homeschooling mom, I look forward to hearing your adventures. (My kids are both in public school, as am I, and doing well).

Iva @ Horizontal Yo-Yo’s last blog post..Not Quite Wordless Wednesday

28 Kate April 29, 2009 at 1:45 pm

As a former homeschooler, I totally support your decision. Homeschooling opens up so many opportunities that are not otherwise available to kids. I find it ironic that the common perceptions about homeschoolers are that they want to keep their children from being exposed to the world and want to enforce a particular doctrine, which is the exact OPPOSITE of why most people do it! I did attend public school for the last couple of years of high school, and it allowed me to see from both perspectives. I valued the experiences I had in public school also, but I am so grateful for the devotion my parents put into my education. I am sure your kids will feel the same way (although they may not realize it until much later).

29 bob April 29, 2009 at 1:54 pm

@ Nate

Not exactly sure what you mean by: ” Pro-Socialist agenda”. Sounds like another conspiracy theory. I’m sorry, but that’s totally crazy to suggest. Again- I have many in my family who teach public school. 5 to be exact. None who inject “socialist” ideals into innocent children’s minds. I’m sure that there are many home-schooled children who do quite well. There are also people like myself who got a good ole’-fashioned public school education who also do well, right along with everyone else in my family who also went to public school and now all earn well within the upper 10-15% of the national salary bracket.

My point being was that yes- home schooling is fine. But doing so just for the parent’s religious or ideological beliefs and a distrust of the general public education system isn’t beneficial. Its not like your kids aren’t someday going to have to work with people who might have been taught about Dinosaurs, the Big Bang theory, and so on. These are things they will have to learn about at some point in order to put it into context with their own beliefs. This is my opinion. I know others disagree with me.

30 Nate @ Debt-free Scholar April 29, 2009 at 2:04 pm

@ bob

Thank you for replying! I did not meant to suggest that every public school teacher is pro-socialist. Far from it! I personally know at least two public school teachers who are freedom-loving Christians. I am sure that your relatives are the same. However, I do disagree with you about exposing young children to evolution, sex ed, and other inappropriate classes that are required in public schools. Once someone is more mature and understands the truth, they can stand against it, but, if they are a blank slate, they are much more likely to believe it. However, like I said, I do not want to suggest that your relatives or even most teachers are trying to indoctrinate the students. I do not want to be offensive, but this is where I stand.

God bless,
Nate

Nate @ Debt-free Scholar’s last blog post..10 Little Known Ways To Survive Finals Week

31 bob April 29, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Well, I guess we just happen to disagree on the issue, which is fine. I’m probably a bit more liberal in my views of childhood education. As far as what and how kids are taught, I think that really depends on the teacher. For example, I was taught about sex ed when I was in 6th grade. The teacher who taught it was very serious about it and as a result, we students took the subject seriously. I also think that any good teacher would make clear statements in regards to science. I recall one of the first thing taught to me about science was that science was based on theory, and theory in itself is an educated and informed guess that has some flexibility to change, hence the world could have begun any number of ways, none of which were completely understood. But never did I hear a teacher say that something was exactly as such.

I think the background argument here is whether science and religion can co-exist. I think the answer is yes, which I understand is probably different than others feel. My own personal religious beliefs is that God gave us the power of intellect and it is out duty to learn about the world around us- including things that we don’t agree with- in order to make ourselves more rounded people. Thus I do not agree with restricting children from what’s out there.

Anyhow, thanks for keeping the conversation cordial and intelligent. I know we disagree, which again is fine. I’ll leave it at that.

32 Debbie April 29, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I’m sure your adventure into homeschooling will be just that an adventure. I don’t know if I could be as dedicated but I’m lucky to have a pretty good school to send my kids to.

Living in Ontario, Canada we haven’t been faced with school cutbacks like our neighbours to the south. I would like to think that that won’t happen but who knows.

Good luck in your new adventure. I’m sure that you will be marvelous at it. Can’t wait for the updates.

33 Lynnae April 29, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Ah, so much to say. Where to begin?

@bob – We’re going to have to disagree on some level, though I do agree with some of your points. In looking for homeschool curriculum, I’m looking for a curriculum that hits the tough subjects. I want my kids to learn about other religions and cultures. I did when I was in 6th grade (in a Christian school), and I’m better for it.

Math and science are very important, and it’s one of the reasons I’m homeschooling. My daughter failed a math test today. She just doesn’t have the one on one time she needs to grasp math concepts in a classroom setting. By homeschooling, I can slow down and teach her at a pace where she’s really getting it. And math is one of my strong subjects, so I don’t worry about being able to teach it. And science right now is a bit of a joke in school. They rotate it with social science and health. At the moment, my daughter isn’t getting any science.

@Steph – Very cool that you’ll be at the conference! I expect I’ll learn a lot! And Steph, I have come across your problem with the gifted child. My son catches on to things quickly and is reading at the end of first grade level (he’s in kindergarten). Fortunately he has a teacher that worked with him, and he goes to first grade for reading. Unfortunately, it means he’s not getting any math, because 1st grade reading is during kindergarten math. But since he’s already hit the kindergarten standards, they aren’t required to teach him anymore math. It’s a trade-off.

As far as mean kids go, I think some kids can handle it. But when I hear my daughter coming home, telling me that she’s stupid and not pretty enough, I don’t think she can handle it. I think her situation is creating a negative view of herself that might not easily be broken. I think by pulling her out of school, I can help foster a sense of confidence in her. By the time kids go to college they’re more mature and less likely to engage in name calling.

I don’t think going through the middle school cattiness stage is necessary to be successful in life. There are plenty of opportunities in life to learn how to face adversity well, without being subject to cyber-bullying, name calling, and cliques.

So those are my thoughts. I appreciate everyone’s opinion, even if I don’t agree. It’s a good conversation!

34 Dana April 29, 2009 at 3:12 pm

I am very sorry that Bob and Nate have turned this into an argument on YOUR blogsite. Be prepared for this though when you do tell people that you homeschool. I have people in my own church that feel what I am doing is wrong and it has caused poor feelings from me and I try to be strong but very hard. They should be supportive not condemming. Anyway for those out there, ALOT of the homeschoolers I know were either teachers before they had children, one’s husband is the principal of the school, or they have relatives who are in the schools. I personally have a lovely neice who is a teacher and she can’t believe how FAR behind the students work is compared to my daughters, (she has to teach from the school provided curriculum remember, not to stray from it). So I believe everyone needs to remember that what they may believe isn’t what the next person believe’s.

35 Dana April 29, 2009 at 4:05 pm

I will be going to the conference in Portland also so maybe there would be a way to meet while up there. For some reason I think we may have a mutual friend who homeschools in the Douglas County area. I think I saws a post from her on the other area of homeschooling when talking how much private costs versus homeschooling. What a small world it is if she is the one I’m thinking of.

Have a great evening and take life one step at a time!

36 kathy@brazoscowgirl April 29, 2009 at 6:56 pm

You will love homeschooling. I know I do. As long as your kids are active in several activities they get as much socialization as other kids do. Right now in public school they can barely talk at lunch, recess has gone as well. Sconicle is in the sixth grade, it is a better year than fifth grade which was easier than fourth grade!

I really love MathUSee for a math curriculum. It is on mastery not spiraling, which means you learn everything in the order you need to know it. You cannot skip ahead till you have mastered it, but before that I did Saxon.

Every kid is different and after a few years you will figure out what you need to use for each kid!

Be encouraged, you are not alone!

kathy@brazoscowgirl’s last blog post..Dirty Goat Babies

37 Danielle April 29, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Congratulations on your family’s decision, Lynnae! When you mentioned your daughter–I couldn’t help but be interested, especially in your mentioning that she doesn’t get enough one-on-one time, and so you will be able slow down and teach her at a pace where she really gets it.

I know you want the best for your child, and I know your head is probably spinning with the various curriculum packages and supplements available for homeschooling–but I want to add one more thing.

If I were you–I’d observe your daughter learning. You’re probably thinking, “duh!” Seriously though–observe behaviors and observe the type of learner she tends to be, and what materials she really understands and responds to.

When kids don’t “get it,” a common misperception is to go slower–when instead, the reality is just that the student is just not understanding the teaching style–which is confounding her ability to perform to mastery. (Additionally, going slower can lead to other issues–lack of focus, boredom, frustration, etc.) Keeping a rapid pace, but lowering the cognitive demand of the task presented each time an error is produced may enable you to determine exactly where she’s exhibiting difficulties (because you’re controlling the lack of “lag” time). Common research areas/search terms are individual differences, direct instruction, non-directive instruction/tutoring, etc. By experimenting with the teaching style and the manipulatives available at home, you may be able to give your daughter the confidence she deserves in academics–it’s not that she’s dumb, or doesn’t get it. It’s just that the material isn’t being taught in the way the she needs to learn. Education is not one-size-fits-all!

Blessings your way–congratulations as you and your family embark on this journey together!

38 DDFD at DivorcedDadFrugalDad.com April 30, 2009 at 4:40 am

Good decision . . . besides the extra work, three benefits will arise:

1) You will know that your kids are learning from direct one-on-one attention

2) You will probably have a closer relatonship with them

3) You will have more flexibity in scheduling

Good luck with it!

DDFD at DivorcedDadFrugalDad.com’s last blog post..Goal Posts Revisited

39 Looby April 30, 2009 at 7:53 am

@ Dana I don’t think Bob and Nate had an argument they had a very civilised discussion, which I, for one, found interesting.
I’m quite intrigued by homeschooling, it is very rare where I am from.
My greatest concern would be the ability of the parent to teach subjects the the required level, my parents are well educated medical professionals but I’m not convinced that they could have taught me applied mathematics, and organic chemistry to the same degree that a professional chemistry or maths teacher would.
I’m also wondering if all homeschooling organisations are Christian? Most, if not all, references I’ve read here so far suggest they are. Do people of other or no religion tend not to homeschool in the US?
This is a fairly new concept for me and I found Nate and Bob’s contributions helpful, and I’ll be intrigued to read about Lynnae’s foray into the world of homeschooling.

40 Rebecca Rivera April 30, 2009 at 8:23 am

That is cool. I have a son going into 6th, and a son going into 1st. I wonder how I will juggle the age gap as well.
God is good, it will work out. -Becky in NJ

Rebecca Rivera’s last blog post..this is getting old

41 Lynnae April 30, 2009 at 8:36 am

I also enjoyed the discussion between bob & Nate. No worries there.

@Looby – There’s a lot of homeschooling that goes on where I live. There are a lot of Christian families that homeschool, but there are also a lot of non-Christian families that homeschool, and there are support groups for both.

As far as a parent being able to teach, many times the parent learns along with the child. There are all kinds of packaged curriculum that work with different learning styles. There’s also the option of hiring a tutor or having high school students take online classes or classes at the community college. Homeschooling is really flexible in that there are a seemingly limitless number of ways to teach. You just need to find what works best for you and your child. I think that’s why many people find it more effective than public school.

42 autumnesf April 30, 2009 at 9:06 am

Congrats on your decision. I’m sure your knees are knocking!

The best advice I could give and the best thing I did when I took the plunge was to find a seasoned mentor with several years and kids homeschooled under her belt. You just can’t beat it to have that voice of experience. If you find the right one they present several suggestions to the problems you might run up against and are very helpful and supportive as you figure your children out.

Hope you find one of these.

Homeschool was by far the hardest thing I ever did. Wouldn’t change a thing for that specific child.

autumnesf’s last blog post..Texas Bluebonnets 2009

43 Dana April 30, 2009 at 10:19 am

Looby-What I have found so wonderful with teaching my daughter is that things I learned throughout my educational years and forgot I’m relearning and with a better understanding. It almost makes more sense to me now that I am an adult and doing it then when I was in school. Math is making so much mors sense and I actually find it fun to do. What saddens me is that I have two older children who go to public school and alot of times I can’t help them with their homework because I don’t understand it but I do know that when my youngest child who is also in school will be getting older and having harder homework I will be able to help him with it. One complaint and frustration from alot of parents that have children in public school is that they have changed the way everything is taught that most cannot help their children with their work. Like I said in an early post is how many teachers leave teaching to teach their children at home. This has to tell you something about either the schools or the how things are being taught. I do enjoy discussing subjects like this and see everyone’s points, what I do not enjoy though is when it feels that it is becoming argumenative and someone has to win. On our homeschool forum someone posted some very well known people who were homeschooled. The following people were listed-Agatha Christie, Pearl S. Buck, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Ansel Adams, Robert Frost, Woodrow Wilson (didn’t learn to read till age 12), Mozart, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Louisa May Alcott. Remember that there were actually schools available to all these people but they didn’t attend. Not all were homeschooled their entire school years but for some reason their families chose to homeschool them for some time for some reason. Also there wasn’t available curriculum like we have today but each one of these people learned enough that we have heard or had an impact on our lives from them. Sorry so long-everyone have a great day!

44 kath April 30, 2009 at 11:30 am

Congratulations! From what I’ve read over the last couple of posts, you’ve really put a lot of time and consideration into this decision, which is the best way to do it. Not being a homeschooler myself, (although we did consider it at one point, but realized it wouldn’t be right for us) I have a lot of respect for the people who really think and weigh all of their options before making such a big decision. Good luck with it. I’m sure you’ll be great at it.

45 Looby April 30, 2009 at 12:21 pm

@ Dana and Lynnae- thanks for the responses. Like I say homeschooling is very rare where I am from and I wonder if maybe in part it is due to the extreme differences in the school systems between our countries.
I’m very glad that you have found what works best for your families, which ultimately is the most important thing.

46 Amy @ Amy Loves It! April 30, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Yea! Looking forward to your homeschooling posts!

Amy @ Amy Loves It!’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday 29/Apr

47 jill April 30, 2009 at 1:24 pm

I read all of your posts with bated breath, and anticipated jumping in with my own two cents’ worth, only to find that you’ve managed to create the most well-balanced and informational blog about homeschooling that I have ever read – without my help, thank you very much. In ten years of schooling my own kids, the biggest frustration has been well-meaning but uninformed comments from outside the homeschool spectrum. Unconditional support would have been nice, but running into opposition has only strengthened my resolve (or, stubborn streak). While most folks are encouraging, some will be downright insulting. If I can add anything to the conversation, let it be this: You can do this. It is not difficult; it is rewarding and fun. The only prerequisite is patience.

48 Laurie April 30, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Good luck – glad to hear you’re taking the plunge.

If your daughter is struggling in math, I’d highly suggest Math U See (as will many other homeschooling parents!) The manipulatives and non-spiral approach mean the kids actually understand the concepts – as opposed to learning how to solve the problem And I’d probably have her start a couple of years before her level and whiz through the lessons so you can catch any places where she missed something she needed – math is very dependent on learning in order.

I also recommend having both your kids learn to count by 1′s through 15′s (there are song cd’s out there to help). It sounds silly, but by doing that when multiplication and division come around they don’t even blink.

49 Tiera May 1, 2009 at 10:33 am

I just came across your site from HomeEc 101. I was reading this post about homeschooling and wanted to leave you an encouraging note. We chose to start homeschooling our daughter in the 7th grade. We knew we had a cross country move coming and didn’t want to pull her out of school once she had started. Plus, the community that we moved to does not have a private Christian school that goes through the 12th grade. She is currently in 10th grade and I’m thrilled. We’ve had a few adjustments over the past 3 1/2 years but sitting where I’m at right now, I’m thrilled that we made this decision. Our daughter is bright, articulate and has started taking responsibility for her education! She has her own reading program aside from her school curriculum and is currently reading through the classics. There will be many bumps and bruises along the way, but, you as the parents know your children the best and have their best interests at heart. God Bless you as you embark on this wonderful, fearful, and exhilarating journey!

50 Pennie May 2, 2009 at 7:53 am

I’m also keeping my daughter (who will be going into 1st grade) home next year, providing that nothing life altering happens. The only difference is that I’ll be schooling her through an online public school. I feel much more comfortable (on a personal level) doing that, because I’m not very organized, so I like the idea of having the curriculum already there, 100% free. The school I’m going to be using also does 5-6 field trips a month all around the state (not mandatory), and they make sure that the children take the tests that they are required to by our state.

My husband and I still haven’t told his mother that we’re doing it yet, though :-P… she won’t like it.

51 Shana May 2, 2009 at 10:04 am

Regarding socialization: there is more to socialization than just interacting with people. School provides socialization with people of other backgrounds and situations — more so than only having children socialize at church or other organized activities. For example, if children only socialize with other homeschoolers, or only people involved in certain activities, their experience with people and the world is sheltered.

Homeschooling is good for teaching basics (and I can easily see why someone would want to do it for grade school age children, so they can learn the basics well), but what about when teaching conceptual topics (philosophy, literature, etc)? First off, a homeschooler is only going to be exposed to whatever the parent deems appropriate, and if “inappropriate” content is covered, it’s probably covered with a disclaimer. Are you going to have them read Lolita? Are you going to encourage them to debate about evolution? Second, your children will miss learning by interactions with other students. Specifically, part of learning is listening to what others say, and listening and considering the questions they ask. I can’t count the number of times I hadn’t thought of a question until someone else asked it, or the number of times someone’s question sparked another question(s) in me. I think it’s exceptionally limiting if children aren’t exposed to these things. In my experience, great discussions come from multiple viewpoints. (Consider this: in one of my high school history classes, the teacher was an aspiring politician and there were exchange students, Nigerian immigrant students, jocks, geeks, honor roll, black students, white students, “alternative” kids, rich kids, poor kids). Then imagine how all these different viewpoints contributed to discussions — and they were lively. Without that class, most of the different groups of people would never have interacted together.

Regarding Nate: I don’t disagree that some of his achievements are laudatory. However “pro-socialist agenda”? That’s *exactly* what I’m talking about when I say that homeschooled children only have the views of their parent(s). And if he only “steps foot” inside a school once a year, exactly how is assessing this agenda? This just infuriates me.

Regarding bullying: sadly, this happens. However, if a child is taken out of school and doesn’t learn how to deal with this behavior, where are they going to be when they go to college or get a job? Yes, children can be mean – and they tend to be pretty straightforward about it. However, the same behaviors don’t disappear as those kids get older, though the behaviors are sometimes more subtle. There are difficult people at every age, and if children don’t learn how to deal with these people, then that’s going to make it more difficult later in life. I wasn’t a popular kid in school, and I had people pick on me occasionally, and yes, sometimes I thought I was ‘ugly’ or ‘stupid’. However, that didn’t make me a suicidal or miserable person or a kid that experimented with drugs or got into trouble, and I went to college (graduated an A student and with honors and achievements) and I now run my own business.

Obviously, I think homeschooling is severely limiting for children. At the very least, put them in a school for middle school and high school. Using “oh, well they’re involved in church and other [middle-class] activities” as a “they’re being socialized…see” example is incomplete. Socialization includes learning how to deal with people outside of your own experience, and by limiting who they socialize with, you limit how they learn to deal with other people — especially since you live in a small community.

52 Lynnae May 2, 2009 at 11:35 am

@Shana – I’m going to have to disagree with you. According to Dictionary.com, the definition of socialization is:

“a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.”

At 11 years old, the average beginning middle schooler is just beginning to figure out their identity. Meanwhile, they are being pressured to conform to whatever their peers (other 11 year olds) think is cool. Even if that means bullying, dabbling in drinking (I was faced with this on my 2nd day of 8th grade), shooting spitwads at a substitute teacher (that one was cool in my 10th grade science class), and other “unsocial” behavior.

I believe it better that kids learn social skills from adults who are well versed in social skills, while still figuring out their identity. Yes, there are always difficult people in the world, but it’s easier to deal with them when you have the maturity to see a bully for what he truly is: someone who is insecure with themselves and whose opinion really is no reflection on you. Unfortunately a middle schooler hasn’t developed the maturity to think that way yet. I don’t feel that kids need to go through the whole bullying thing to learn how to deal with adverse situations. There are plenty of other ways to learn that. A difficult kid at church, trying to make friends at a new activity, mastering a difficult math problem. Adversity is everywhere.

Furthermore, homeschooled students aren’t limited to only being around similar people and reading “Christian” books. Next year my 6th grader will be studying different cultures in the Eastern Hemisphere, something she likely won’t get in public school, where social studies normally focuses on U.S. history. She’s going to try out for a county choir, which will take her into nursing homes, where she can interact with older people, something she also won’t get in school.

And yes, we will be having discussions on Creation vs. Evolution, which is again more than she’d get in public school where Intelligent Design isn’t allowed to be mentioned. Eventually when she’s old enough, she’ll be going on a youth group trip with the church…this year the high schoolers are going to Peru.

I want my children to think. I don’t want them to just accept everything the school hands to them. I want them to question. To form their own thoughts. To be able to critically examine a piece of material and pick it apart to get to the true meaning. I don’t want them to cram to learn the right answers to a test, just so they can get an “A”, and then forget everything right afterwards. Again, this is how I got through school.

Next year we’ll be using the Sonlight curriculum (www.sonlight.com). Before making a judgment as to what my kids will and won’t learn, I encourage you to take a look at the cores and some of the literature included in the curriculum. I think you’ll be surprised, especially in the upper grades. There are lots of discussion provoking pieces included in the curriculum. Yes, it’s Christian oriented, but it includes a lot of different perspectives.

Shana, thanks for sharing your opinion. Even if we don’t agree, I do enjoy this discussion.

53 Shana May 2, 2009 at 6:35 pm

I find it an interesting discussion, too, and I’ve debated this with other pro-homeschoolers I know.

For me, socialization is more than just learning how to behave appropriately for a situation. My definition of socialization includes experiencing, learning from and appreciating diversity firsthand.

54 Shana May 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Also, one more quick thing. You used examples of being offered alcohol or misbehaving. I think that it’s a parent’s responsibility to teach right and wrong, and then let the child make their own decisions. Obviously, if a child repeatedly makes bad choices, something further needs to be done, but I think a certain amount of making bad judgements (and learning from them) is part of growing up. One of my beliefs is that it’s impossible to truly know virtue unless you know vice (which isn’t an excuse for bad behavior everywhere, but that experience is a better lesson than book learning).

55 Dana May 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm

I find it funny when people wonder if people that homeschool read nothing but very religious or Christian only books. Many people do only read that type of material but most do read the Bible. The Bible does contain many aspects of life, anything you can think of is in the Bible. The difference in reading the Bible and secular books is that the Bible has a point to the story and secular reading is just that-reading. In the Bible one will find war, adultary, homosexuality, murder, witchcraft, and the list goes on and on and on. So I can have my child read what public school children are reading but use the Bible (for most of the same material) and then see what God says and then we can talk from there. Alot of people who have started schooling their children at home maybe even using a online school aren’t even doing it for religious reasons, they are doing it because people are losing faith in our schools. I started homeschooling my third child (four children in all) because after being in kindergarten a month she started crying. Kept sending, would cry all morning before school, then before and after and then all through the weekends. Her pediatrician and a doctor from behavioral health, and also a therapist (who she saw for three months) all said to take her out of school and homeschool her. If we kept her in school they were afraid that it would be more damaging than what was already. To this day (she is in fourth grade) she still becomes very achitated if you mention her and school in the same sentence. Every year we talk and ask about her going to school and she becomes very upset. Her therapist said we may never find out what went wrong but not to push her into an uncomfortable situation such as that. Her other siblings go and are fine with school. Sorry for being so long just another way to look at why people may school their children at home.

56 Margaret May 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm

@ Bob & others who are concerned that homeschoolers who teach “only” the parental religious views
Part of teaching and training children is to teach them that not everyone believes this way and explain some of the alternate beliefs (age-appropriately of course – reasoning skills take a while to grow) that people have and how they conflict with the Bible. The folks at Answers In Genesis do an excellent job of exposing how the rock-dating, fossil record technique used by evolutionists is merely circular reasoning. The middle-school ABeka science texts echo that and do an excellent job of explaining how laws of thermodynamics & entropy actually support the Biblical view rather than detract from it. (“secular” science has no problem with those laws to my knowledge.) Bob, you might be surprised to learn that the ABeka folks state something along the lines of “the purpose of science is to harness the laws of nature for the benefit of mankind” in the intro to their JR High science texts. They also make it clear that God expects us to be good stewards of what He’s given us and this should not be interpreted to mean that humans should be careless in how we use the resources of the planet and of each other. This resembles your statement:
“My own personal religious beliefs is that God gave us the power of intellect and it is out duty to learn about the world around us-”
You may find more in those Christian worldview texts that you agree with than you disagree with. I’m not saying this to pick a fight, just to say the gap between you and religious homeschoolers may not be as large as it seems. In order to debate intelligently, you have to study the opposing viewpoint(s) and many homeschoolers do just that. I think the concerns that drive many to homeschooling (other than the privilege to go at the pace of the one who learns differently rather than the pace of the district curriculum & state test week demands) is that not all viewpoints (in science and health for example) are permitted in public schools and the school is not permitted to advocate one viewpoint as the ‘right’ one, so their solution is to make sure any views that involve something more than what can be measured with the 5 senses are excluded.
Lynnae & her family are on a big journey, fortunately, you don’t have to throw in all the details in at the beginning (1st grader) you can gradually expose them as their logic and reasoning skills develop (Jr high and up)Best of luck to you and take the advice of the commenter who recommended studying your daughter’s learning style to figure out how to present Math to her. Then you can fly through what’s missing and hit the expectations for her grade with no problem. :-)

57 Deana May 4, 2009 at 11:31 am

I admire your decision to homeschool. I knew from the time my daughter was born that I would eventually homeschool her. I was a teacher before, and I am choosing to homeschool for the exact same reasons as you. Kudos, Mama!

58 Deana May 4, 2009 at 11:32 am

You’re welcome to check out my frugal homeschooling blog. I just started it, so it’s still a work in progress, but maybe it’ll give you some ideas! :-)

59 Dana May 4, 2009 at 2:21 pm

Sorry to keep posting Lynnae but I saw something so very interesting in the Parade magazine yesterday. Someone asked about Will Smith (the movie star)wife opening up a small school. The answer came back that many people were amazed at the curriculum that she had put together for HOMESCHOOLING Will and her children that they wondered if she would share it or teach others. She know has a small school going for children that was inspired by homeschooling her own. This tells me that even people that can afford very elite, expensive schools have an interest in their childrens education and if the schools are lacking there is no reason for parents to school their own.

60 Brad May 5, 2009 at 5:09 pm

It looks like you have already picked something, but you might want to check out http://www.learning-adventures.org/

We only got through 1 and a half books in several years, but it covered multiple ages well and interesting material. The price is reasonable even if you are supplementing something else.

BTW, forget the socialization junk. Look at the social problems in most government schools. I know my junior high experience (in a much milder time) was horrible…. Those who claim homeschooling is bad for this reason should have to defend all the socialization problems of those in the government school system!

Brad

61 Kim May 5, 2009 at 6:11 pm

I’m just so glad to have found this forum! After a rather “bumpy” year with our daughter in public kindergarten, my husband and I are seriously considering/researching home schooling starting 1st grade. It has been such a shock to me what she has been “exposed” to (literally)and what we have endured as a family to get through this past year. I guess school just isn’t what it used to be?
When I read the original post I really felt like someone had just put into words what my heart and mind had been thinking! Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging stories! I’m still a little nervous, but very excited about the possibility of home schooling!!! Thank you so much.

62 shari elmore May 6, 2009 at 8:20 am

OH! Don’t forget http://www.singaporemath.com. Best math curriculum in the entire world-my kids LOVE it-and it is soooo inexpensive!

63 Kelli Miller May 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm

I came into this pretty late but what Bob said kinda irked me. My husband is a public school teacher and I homeschool my oldest. As parents we know our children best… yes, we may “cherry-pick” what we believe our children should learn but guess what, so do the schools. For example: Slavery… it is not very commonly known that Black people also had slaves and that White people were also slaves. Why not?? Because the “public schools” don’t feel we need to know that.

As parents, we know our children best… my son is PHENOMINAL at math so I push him harder there, I know he will do something with math when he is older. Public school couldn’t care less that my son is great at math… he should be at the same level as every one else.

My middle son scored 50 out of 100 on his handwriting when in Kindergarden. WHen I asked the teacher why he got a 50 she said, “He has the best hadnwriting in the class so I didn’t feel it was right to give him a zero… but he holds his pencil between the wrong fingers.” Are you kidding me?? He is left handed so I am glad he doesn’t twist his wrist all up, but who really cares if he rests his pencil on his middle finer or his ring finger???

Kelli Miller’s last blog post..N-Fini Shape Shapewear Review + Giveaways!

64 hatcco01 May 19, 2009 at 6:40 pm

I just had to comment too… I have not made any decisions about this but expect I will have to someday. I think people are biased based on their own backgrounds (I’m from public school, parents and grandparent were teachers, I hope to become a guidance counselor in inner-city public schools for at least a few years). But here are just a few of my reflections… Lynnae, you wrote, “I want my children to think. I don’t want them to just accept everything the school hands to them. I want them to question. To form their own thoughts. To be able to critically examine a piece of material and pick it apart to get to the true meaning. I don’t want them to cram to learn the right answers to a test, just so they can get an “A”, and then forget everything right afterwards.” This is exactly what I learned from my favorite teachers at my mediocre public schools. I was also told by my kindergarten teacher that I colored the sky the “wrong” color, and faced the same peer pressures mentioned above, and never quite learned how to handle them until adulthood. But I also learned about kids who were different than me, people I never would have met otherwise. I learned empathy for people with less than me, like the children of parents who didn’t care as much as mine. It helped me see that I have a lot more in common with people who I originally assumed were so different from me. I don’t have any answers, but one of my main concerns about removing smart, caring kids from suffering public schools is that it increases the likelihood that they (and their families) might continue to interpret their public school peers as being sad, mean, hopeless, cases who are doomed to fail, and completely disassociate from part of their community in favor of the more familiar and fortunate areas and organizations.

65 Anna May 25, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Kelli, wow. Just, wow. What you’re teaching your kids re: black people owning slaves and white people being slaves is a prime argument AGAINST homeschooling. Your kids are going to have a very twisted sense of history. Why teach that? Why is that important to you? Who owned the political, social and economic power at the time? And all your kids will be able to say is, “well, white people were slaves too, so there.”

66 Pokeberry Mary May 26, 2009 at 10:59 am

I wanted to pop in a bit about the black and white and slavery issue. It is TRUE that there has been slavery throughout the history of the earth and that blacks were not the only slaves, nor were whites the only slave owners. TRUTH should be taught. The way things are taught there are certain ‘cherry picked’ ideas (pardon my use of a term someone else used against homeschooling) that are absolutely pushed in public schools. The entire culture in the US is being pushed in a certain direction are we to believe it ISN’T happening in the schools? Come on-get real!

I would certainly teach my children (as I did in the days I hs’ed) about the slavery issue in the US but yes–I would also point out that slavery has always existed and still does–and that some of our own white ancestors were probably slaves as well.

That said–its been a long time since the emancipation of blacks in America this issue should be behind us now. Even the Jim Crowe laws are close to half a century in the past.

I don’t want to minimize the impact slavery had on the US –but I get so tired of America always beating itself up for every thing and I do not want to teach my children or grandchildren that they come from some uniquely evil country. ITs not TRUE!

Pokeberry Mary’s last blog post..Workt In My Garden..

67 Deb May 28, 2009 at 10:11 am

Such an interesting topic! I just found you today and had to chime in. I am planning on homeschooling my kids (ages 4 and 2), and I was homeschooled myself. The most common reaction I get when I tell people my plans is “you are a redneck who doesn’t value education”. On the contrary, academics are extremely important to me and frankly I don’t think that public school can give my kids a quality education. Math and science are incredibly important in the world we live in. All you have to do is look and see how U.S. students stack up against students from other countries and you can see we are not doing a good enough job. Furthermore, most parents I know who send their kids to public school for hours a day have to come home every night and do hours of homework. Six or eight hours a day and they still can’t teach the kids? Not very efficient, and I know a lot of kids that are completely burned out by age 11 and do not enjoy learning. I want my kids to love learning, get a good education, and still have time for other activities and just being a kid.

As to the socialization arguements, I agree with Linda Dobson (The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child). She points out that the socialization is basically 28 other kids the exact same age as your kid, from the same neighborhood as yout kid. So your six year old will be getting the majority of his social cues from….other six year olds. If socialization is such a concern for anti-homeschoolers, they should realize that there is much more value to trips to the grocery store, library, church, museum, 4H, swim lessons, sport, music lessons, etc, interacting with wide variety of people of different ages, professions and ethnicities. Real people doing real work in the real world. That is a better and more realistic way to socialize children than by locking them in a building with 28 of their peers for 8 hours a day. Which still doesn’t seem to actually educate them.

Anyway, sorry to get on a soapbox for my first post! I will definitely be adding you to my Must-Reads! Good luck with the homeschooling and I am looking forward to reading about your adventures.

68 Julie November 7, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Hi,
I will look forward to reading your input on homeschooling. I have two children, aged 18 months and almost 4 months. (God-willing, we will have more). I have just started thinking about home-schooling and whether it something I would like to do. There is not much of a homeschooling culture in Australia (where we are), though it is growing in popularity.

Two specifics I would like to observe:
(1) How you choose curriculum and whether you can “afford” to be frugal with homeschooling resources (weighing up the money saving without sacrificing your child’s education)?

(2) How you do cope with the age disparity between your children and making best use of the time for both of them?

Thanks for your wisdom.

69 Heather December 14, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Hi There! Yeah! I’m so happy that you have made the decision to homeschool! We are in the middle of our third year ; we pulled my oldest out at the end of first grade. I feel blessed that the Lord has called me to homeschool and I know it can be a blessing in your life (and the kids) too.
That being said, it is not easy. It is good that you are not starting right away. I felt convicted after I attended a seminar (Carole Joy Seid, but more about that later) in October of 2006, I went home and proposed to the hubby that we should homeschool. In his wisdom, he thought that we should wait till the end of the school year. I was so glad I did because I read all I could get my hands on about homeschooling. One of the books that I first read was: “The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling” by Debra Bell. Then, I read most of the books , etc., referenced in her book. Of course, I used the library for most of this! Also, I would hook up with your local homeschooling organization. They can help you find a homeschool mentor if you don’t have one who can answer all types of questions for you! I would also recomend attending one of Carole Joy Seid’s seminars (check out her website) – she has some great (frugal) ideas of what to use and how to get yourself ready to educate your children (like you haven’t been doing that already).
Don’t worry about the socialization thing. Both of my girls are well adjusted and have friends to play and hang out with.

70 Kia March 18, 2010 at 7:12 pm

HI-
I have been trying for a LONG time to get Carole Joy Seid’s book list. I have purchased her cd’s but have not been able to attend a conference. Could someone PLEASE help me to get a copy of this list……It truly would be a blessing to our family.
Thank you,
Kia

71 Rozella January 31, 2010 at 2:52 pm

sorry that your daughter is feeling bad about herself but by taking her out of school wont help her give her the tools too feeling good about herself and teach her how too deals with the pressures of the realworld instead of sheltering her

72 Mary February 24, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Wow, not to be completely critical, Rozella, but do you know how to use punctuation?

These posts are about homeschooling and you don’t even capitalize your sentences – did you attend public school?

I totally disagree with your comment about dealing with real world pressures. If anything, I would think homeschooling would give a parent the opportunity to open up their child’s world to the “real world” so much more than having them attend public school for nearly a third of their day.

I am a public school graduate. I went on to earn two bachelors (architecture and civil engineering) and a masters (civil engineering) from two “big ten” schools. I believe a love of learning instilled by my parents helped me to succeed in both school and life after. That said, I stopped by the junior high school I attended to pick up my niece one day about 8 years ago. I walked down the hallway to hear students using foul language (f-this, f-you, etc.) and not one teacher anywhere in sight. When I attended that same school – 18 years earlier – teachers left their classrooms between classes to monitor behavior. If we’d so much as yelled something across the hall – foul or otherwise – we’d have been warned to behave. I would much rather homeschool my children and be able to teach them appropriate behavior then have them exposed to what other people may feed is “real world”. It IS NOT appropriate to behave as those children were in the “real world”. If they yell an obscenity across the hall at a co-worker someday, they will be fired. If they bully or harass co-workers someday, they will be fired. Children can be shown “real world” experiences without being subjected to the sub-par public schools as they exist today.

My nephew, now 16 and a junior at the high school I attended, told his mother one morning “just don’t look anyone in the eye and they’ll leave you alone”, meaning the other students. My nephew is nearly 6 feet tall and is an athletic kid – and yet he worries about attending this school with other kids known to carry weapons, beat up other students, etc. I DO NOT want that for my kids someday. I don’t want “real world” for them to include a knifing by another student who barely speaks English.

73 Nikole February 7, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I support your decision to homeschool your children. McGraw-Hill put out a program called Aleks that is very helpful with teaching math, since it will identify any weak areas the children may have and quickly bridges those learning gaps. If I could go back in time and with the right family situation, I would have begged my mom for homeschooling. Public schools waste massive amounts of valuable time, and I firmly believe that most of a person’s necessary education can be done in 4 to 5 hours a day. As your kids get older, helping them to fill some of their day with a job or a personal business would really be neat.

74 C W March 2, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I am a public school teacher with 10 years of teaching experience, 2 masters degrees, and National Board Certification. I am, and have always been, a strong supporter or homeschooling and unschooling. Teachers are not the only folks who can provide a quality education to children. With the changes in legislation (testing, bureauracy, etc.), teachers have less time to devote to individual students. We spend an alarming amount of time redirecting behavior and testing. I applaud any parent who has the time and dedication to take the reigns and educate their own children. When my husband and I have our children, I intend to homeschool them, too. I do worry about the children in poverty (whom I teach) that are not able to receive the quality of education that they deserve, but I would argue that failure is a cultural, political, and familial failure, and not something that each teacher and parent that can change. The “brain drain” from public schools is disheartening, but I owe it to my own children to give them what they deserve… Good luck and kudos to you!

75 Elizabeth March 8, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Go for it with the homeschooling. As a public school teacher, I have seen home schooled kids who were socially awkard because they lacked socialization and ones who had been involved in church groups, sports, scouts, etc. who were comfortable with their peers and usually better than usual with adults. I have seen kids who excelled academically and ones who struggled either because of poor teaching (their parent should never have been home schooling) or because of undiagnosed learning difficulties that needed more skilled intervention. But I have seen more positive than negative. As to the letter writer who was concerned they would not be exposed to philosophy and literature, most home schooled and privately schooled kids actually read a far wider variety, although admittedly they do get less of the modern. (And avoid Lolita, kids are exposed to sexualization far too soon, and a book about an adult and underaged girls has no business in a kids hands, even if it is considered a classic.) Many of our elementary kids read more written for school books than classics.
The one area that I have seen home schooling very consistantly weak in, is science, but so is the public school these days. And I am not talking about the creation/evolution debate. As one person put it after listening to a homeschooling mother at our church spouting off all the “proofs” for creationism that she had gotten out of her children’s curriculum, “Kinda makes you wish she would switch sides, doesn’t it?” As to dealing with bullying, what part of being an adult does verbal and physical abuse from another kid or kids prepare you for? For every child who learns to deal successfully with bullies, there are many more who are seriously harmed emotionally and in self-esteem. Schools are aware of this and it is a major goal in many to stamp it out. Bullying by kids is not the same as difficult adults, it is the same as abuse and/or assault depending on intensity.
Once you have built a foundation, don’t be afraid to move them back to public schools or a good private school if you find they need a more qualified teacher than you; say you got them through algebra, but they need calculus, or they excel in science and really need someone who is more expert in physics or chemistry. Not knowing their limits is a major weakness for parents homeschooling. A computerized HS biology program won’t cut it for the kid who wants to go premed, although your future business major might be fine with it.
Expose your kids to many different kinds of people through volunteer work, mission trips, etc. which will no longer be limited because of school schedules.

76 Brad March 8, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Do keep in mind that a lot of what is peddled as science today (including a bunch in the area of “Evolution”) is a lot of theories and ideas parading as firm understanding. Some has even been disproven, yet is still pushed in government school texts and such. Modern science is far less “scientific” than we are led to believe.

Instill a love for learning about things will do more to make them truly good scientists than any amount of propaganda from the classroom. Start taking junior college classes in high school if an “academic” version really is necessary for the direction they want to go.

Instill a healthy questioning attitude, even of the scientific elite and your child will be much better prepared to filter through the tripe we get in the name of science today.

Brad

77 Jack March 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Pretty much amen to the post and most of the comments. My wife and I got tired of contending with government school “educators” on an almost daily basis… I used to grade and return the letters my children brought home from the Principal’s office… usually a “D” for grammar and spelling and an “F” for content. I wrote special software for my children so that they were able to actually learn on their own. Three of my children are now homeschooling their children… with spectacular success.

I was an early admissions student at our state university, but it was based much more on what I learned outside the classroom (e.g. sitting on the floor between the stacks at my “High” School library and downtown public library) than in the government school classrooms… which BTW were orders of magnitude better when I grew up (in the 1940s and 50s) than anything I’ve been able to see today.

Homeschooling is the hope of our future if we are to progress scientifically, academically and politically to restore our American Republic to its former innovative entrepreneurial and sociological greatness.

78 pashmina November 8, 2010 at 10:46 pm

It’s a brave decision. I hope your children are able to interact with other kids their age through sport and other activities as you say…. though taking your kids out of school will remove a lot of incidental contact between classes etc.

I really like what Seth Godin writes about schools these days just being production lines producing homogenized workers for factories rather than remarkable individuals. Best of luck!

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