Our School Decision, and How We Got There

I applaud your decision to homeschool. It seems you have thought things through carefully. Your situation is similar to what mine was many years ago. We began homeschooling when our daughter was starting sixth grade and our other daughter was a little younger than your son. They have both loved it and thrived. Our oldest is graduating from high school this year. I say that to encourage you that homeschooling in the upper grades can be done and done very successfully too. :-) Just be aware that there will be lots of patience needed as everyone adjusts to your new life. Our first year was pretty challenging, but we persevered. Once we got into the groove, things got easier. Don’t give up and feel like a failure if things aren’t going as you imagined. Keep working at it and being patient with each other. This will be good for everyone’s sanctification! :-)

Both of our girls missed/are currently missing all that middle-school-girl angst, and no one is one bit sorry! I don’t think you will be either. They are very confident in themselves and in who they are as God has made them. They are being pushed around by every wind of fashion and “coolness.”

We homeschooled too, 4 kids different ages for the whole thing. We were part of a large support group which enabled the kids to make freinds and participate in group things. We even had coop classes and a debate club.

I think though, there is one thing I wish I’d understood– homeschooling is not a guarrantee that the kids will all do everything you want them to or end up believing what you believe–its a good foundation but ultimately they are their own person, which you will find out more and more as they grow older.

I’ve seen lots of hs familys go through the ‘teen years’ and there were still bumps in many of the roads. The families however seemed to be very strong and generally made the best of every situation and came out well.

When I was starting out I thought my kids would just somehow follow all I taught them without any bumps– so I learned. ;)

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Thanks so much for sharing your decision and reasons why to came to this decision. Since I too have been thinking about homeschooling my kids, your conclusions actually helped confirm many of the same things that have been going through my mind also. I wish you the best of luck and I’m sure you will do wonderfully as your kids’ teacher.

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I know God is going to honor this important decision you have made. Looking forward to hearing about your new endeavor. (I too was touched by Nate’s comment.)

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Lynnae,

Thank you for sharing your news regarding homeschooling. I imagine it wasn’t an easy decision. I’m sure you gain a lot of helpful information from homechoolers via your blog. I wish you all the luck and look forward to hearing about “Adventures in Homeschooling” in the future!

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Way to go! I’m looking forward to reading about how things go.

As to the socialization aspect … being ‘socialized’ by a mean group of pre-teens is not my idea of a good time.

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Kudos on the decision to home school. My daughter is only 13 months old, so I have a while before school, but I have considered home schooling. I have many teachers in my family, so I am not sure how their reactions will be. I don’t mean to take away from all they do for the next generation. My concern is more with what is being cut from school’s, enormous class sizes, etc. Absolutely nothing to do with the quality of teachers. I know that wasn’t your concern, but I feel I need to make clear that I have nothing but respect for teachers (well, most…there are always a few out there…) But I just feel so sad that my children will likely never get the quality public education that I received. And with so many people exploring their education options now days, there are plenty of co-ops and such that homeschooled children miss out on very little, especially when you look at what keeps getting cut from public schools.

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No one, not even the most dedicated classroom teacher, cares for and about your children as much as you and your husband do. I am confident that you will do just fine as a homeschooler. It is natural that you would feel some anxiety, because this is a big change, and the unknown is always a little scary. Take some time this summer and do some planning, and set up a schedule so that there will be some routine and structure. Check to see if there is a homeschool association in your area for support. Also, please check your e mail as soon as you can.

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I’m excited to hear how your homeschooling turns out! My daughter is not even 3 yet but I have done enough research to decide that I will homeschool when the time comes.

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I’m glad you were able to make a decision. If you’re worried about curriculum, it might be worth looking into the charter schools that operate as web academies. I know this is a growing trend in Oregon. My cousin (who lives in St. Helens) actually homeschools her girls this way. I’m not sure all of the details, but here’s a link to one of these web academies to get you started: http://www.gbwebacademy.org
Also, I believe there is no cost associated with it, because it operates as a charter school, so your local school district will basically just give the money allotted for your kids’ education over to the charter school. Hope this helps you in your research!

How exciting!!!! I have been homeschooling my two boys (16 and 14) for the past 5 years. I have always loved my children, well, because they were my children. However, after homeschooling them I can honestly say I not only love but like the men they are turning out to be.

I truly feel that God will bless you and your family as you start this new adventure.

@ bob

You said, “I have no problem whatsoever with homeschooling. But I also feel that every child deserves access to the same knowledge privy to the average American.” I beg to differ.

First, what is the knowledge available in public schools across America? Aside from the pro-socialist agenda, the instruction level has been proven to be low. Homeschoolers have repeatedly scored higher on standardized tests than public schoolers. Understand, I am not saying that all schools are the same. Some homeschoolers do not do well in school, and some public schoolers do very well in school. However, the average home school student scores better than the average public school student.

Second, I am a living example of a homeschooler. I have been homeschooled since before 1st grade (I am now in 11th grade). The only time that I have ever set foot in a public school was for the PSAT last fall. Are my grades low? Once a year, I take the California Achievement Test, a standardized test required in Oregon, and I have scored in the 99th percentile since 3rd or 4th grade! I do not say this to boast, the honor is due entirely to the Lord; rather, I say this to emphasis my point – the average homeschooler does have access to more knowledge than the average public schooler!

I hope that this will encourage others out there who are considering homeschooling not to be discouraged by the fear that the education level will be lower.

God bless,
Nate

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I will be seeing you at the conference in Portland in June! I just started homeschooling my 1st grader this year, so I am pretty new to this as well. As another frugal mom, I will agree Sonlight is pretty expensive, but there are many other options out there- don’t count out My Father’s World which is MUCH cheaper.

We began homeschooling for many of the same reasons you are. As the wife of a public school teacher, we see many of the problems with the public school system. It was actually my husband who encouraged me to begin this process. We desire so much for our children to love learning and found the public schools didn’t foster the love we wish for.

Congratulations on your decision. It’s been my experience that new homeschoolers go for the boxed curriculum the first year, learning what they like and what they don’t like (or more importantly, what works for their kids and what doesn’t) and eventually creating their own curriculum, finding free resources, etc.

Good luck this next year. As a former homeschooling mom, I look forward to hearing your adventures. (My kids are both in public school, as am I, and doing well).

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@ Nate

Not exactly sure what you mean by: ” Pro-Socialist agenda”. Sounds like another conspiracy theory. I’m sorry, but that’s totally crazy to suggest. Again- I have many in my family who teach public school. 5 to be exact. None who inject “socialist” ideals into innocent children’s minds. I’m sure that there are many home-schooled children who do quite well. There are also people like myself who got a good ole’-fashioned public school education who also do well, right along with everyone else in my family who also went to public school and now all earn well within the upper 10-15% of the national salary bracket.

My point being was that yes- home schooling is fine. But doing so just for the parent’s religious or ideological beliefs and a distrust of the general public education system isn’t beneficial. Its not like your kids aren’t someday going to have to work with people who might have been taught about Dinosaurs, the Big Bang theory, and so on. These are things they will have to learn about at some point in order to put it into context with their own beliefs. This is my opinion. I know others disagree with me.

Well, I guess we just happen to disagree on the issue, which is fine. I’m probably a bit more liberal in my views of childhood education. As far as what and how kids are taught, I think that really depends on the teacher. For example, I was taught about sex ed when I was in 6th grade. The teacher who taught it was very serious about it and as a result, we students took the subject seriously. I also think that any good teacher would make clear statements in regards to science. I recall one of the first thing taught to me about science was that science was based on theory, and theory in itself is an educated and informed guess that has some flexibility to change, hence the world could have begun any number of ways, none of which were completely understood. But never did I hear a teacher say that something was exactly as such.

I think the background argument here is whether science and religion can co-exist. I think the answer is yes, which I understand is probably different than others feel. My own personal religious beliefs is that God gave us the power of intellect and it is out duty to learn about the world around us- including things that we don’t agree with- in order to make ourselves more rounded people. Thus I do not agree with restricting children from what’s out there.

Anyhow, thanks for keeping the conversation cordial and intelligent. I know we disagree, which again is fine. I’ll leave it at that.

I will be going to the conference in Portland also so maybe there would be a way to meet while up there. For some reason I think we may have a mutual friend who homeschools in the Douglas County area. I think I saws a post from her on the other area of homeschooling when talking how much private costs versus homeschooling. What a small world it is if she is the one I’m thinking of.

Have a great evening and take life one step at a time!

Congratulations on your family’s decision, Lynnae! When you mentioned your daughter–I couldn’t help but be interested, especially in your mentioning that she doesn’t get enough one-on-one time, and so you will be able slow down and teach her at a pace where she really gets it.

I know you want the best for your child, and I know your head is probably spinning with the various curriculum packages and supplements available for homeschooling–but I want to add one more thing.

If I were you–I’d observe your daughter learning. You’re probably thinking, “duh!” Seriously though–observe behaviors and observe the type of learner she tends to be, and what materials she really understands and responds to.

When kids don’t “get it,” a common misperception is to go slower–when instead, the reality is just that the student is just not understanding the teaching style–which is confounding her ability to perform to mastery. (Additionally, going slower can lead to other issues–lack of focus, boredom, frustration, etc.) Keeping a rapid pace, but lowering the cognitive demand of the task presented each time an error is produced may enable you to determine exactly where she’s exhibiting difficulties (because you’re controlling the lack of “lag” time). Common research areas/search terms are individual differences, direct instruction, non-directive instruction/tutoring, etc. By experimenting with the teaching style and the manipulatives available at home, you may be able to give your daughter the confidence she deserves in academics–it’s not that she’s dumb, or doesn’t get it. It’s just that the material isn’t being taught in the way the she needs to learn. Education is not one-size-fits-all!

Blessings your way–congratulations as you and your family embark on this journey together!

@ Dana I don’t think Bob and Nate had an argument they had a very civilised discussion, which I, for one, found interesting.
I’m quite intrigued by homeschooling, it is very rare where I am from.
My greatest concern would be the ability of the parent to teach subjects the the required level, my parents are well educated medical professionals but I’m not convinced that they could have taught me applied mathematics, and organic chemistry to the same degree that a professional chemistry or maths teacher would.
I’m also wondering if all homeschooling organisations are Christian? Most, if not all, references I’ve read here so far suggest they are. Do people of other or no religion tend not to homeschool in the US?
This is a fairly new concept for me and I found Nate and Bob’s contributions helpful, and I’ll be intrigued to read about Lynnae’s foray into the world of homeschooling.

Looby-What I have found so wonderful with teaching my daughter is that things I learned throughout my educational years and forgot I’m relearning and with a better understanding. It almost makes more sense to me now that I am an adult and doing it then when I was in school. Math is making so much mors sense and I actually find it fun to do. What saddens me is that I have two older children who go to public school and alot of times I can’t help them with their homework because I don’t understand it but I do know that when my youngest child who is also in school will be getting older and having harder homework I will be able to help him with it. One complaint and frustration from alot of parents that have children in public school is that they have changed the way everything is taught that most cannot help their children with their work. Like I said in an early post is how many teachers leave teaching to teach their children at home. This has to tell you something about either the schools or the how things are being taught. I do enjoy discussing subjects like this and see everyone’s points, what I do not enjoy though is when it feels that it is becoming argumenative and someone has to win. On our homeschool forum someone posted some very well known people who were homeschooled. The following people were listed-Agatha Christie, Pearl S. Buck, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Ansel Adams, Robert Frost, Woodrow Wilson (didn’t learn to read till age 12), Mozart, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Louisa May Alcott. Remember that there were actually schools available to all these people but they didn’t attend. Not all were homeschooled their entire school years but for some reason their families chose to homeschool them for some time for some reason. Also there wasn’t available curriculum like we have today but each one of these people learned enough that we have heard or had an impact on our lives from them. Sorry so long-everyone have a great day!

@ Dana and Lynnae- thanks for the responses. Like I say homeschooling is very rare where I am from and I wonder if maybe in part it is due to the extreme differences in the school systems between our countries.
I’m very glad that you have found what works best for your families, which ultimately is the most important thing.

I read all of your posts with bated breath, and anticipated jumping in with my own two cents’ worth, only to find that you’ve managed to create the most well-balanced and informational blog about homeschooling that I have ever read – without my help, thank you very much. In ten years of schooling my own kids, the biggest frustration has been well-meaning but uninformed comments from outside the homeschool spectrum. Unconditional support would have been nice, but running into opposition has only strengthened my resolve (or, stubborn streak). While most folks are encouraging, some will be downright insulting. If I can add anything to the conversation, let it be this: You can do this. It is not difficult; it is rewarding and fun. The only prerequisite is patience.

I just came across your site from HomeEc 101. I was reading this post about homeschooling and wanted to leave you an encouraging note. We chose to start homeschooling our daughter in the 7th grade. We knew we had a cross country move coming and didn’t want to pull her out of school once she had started. Plus, the community that we moved to does not have a private Christian school that goes through the 12th grade. She is currently in 10th grade and I’m thrilled. We’ve had a few adjustments over the past 3 1/2 years but sitting where I’m at right now, I’m thrilled that we made this decision. Our daughter is bright, articulate and has started taking responsibility for her education! She has her own reading program aside from her school curriculum and is currently reading through the classics. There will be many bumps and bruises along the way, but, you as the parents know your children the best and have their best interests at heart. God Bless you as you embark on this wonderful, fearful, and exhilarating journey!

Regarding socialization: there is more to socialization than just interacting with people. School provides socialization with people of other backgrounds and situations — more so than only having children socialize at church or other organized activities. For example, if children only socialize with other homeschoolers, or only people involved in certain activities, their experience with people and the world is sheltered.

Homeschooling is good for teaching basics (and I can easily see why someone would want to do it for grade school age children, so they can learn the basics well), but what about when teaching conceptual topics (philosophy, literature, etc)? First off, a homeschooler is only going to be exposed to whatever the parent deems appropriate, and if “inappropriate” content is covered, it’s probably covered with a disclaimer. Are you going to have them read Lolita? Are you going to encourage them to debate about evolution? Second, your children will miss learning by interactions with other students. Specifically, part of learning is listening to what others say, and listening and considering the questions they ask. I can’t count the number of times I hadn’t thought of a question until someone else asked it, or the number of times someone’s question sparked another question(s) in me. I think it’s exceptionally limiting if children aren’t exposed to these things. In my experience, great discussions come from multiple viewpoints. (Consider this: in one of my high school history classes, the teacher was an aspiring politician and there were exchange students, Nigerian immigrant students, jocks, geeks, honor roll, black students, white students, “alternative” kids, rich kids, poor kids). Then imagine how all these different viewpoints contributed to discussions — and they were lively. Without that class, most of the different groups of people would never have interacted together.

Regarding Nate: I don’t disagree that some of his achievements are laudatory. However “pro-socialist agenda”? That’s *exactly* what I’m talking about when I say that homeschooled children only have the views of their parent(s). And if he only “steps foot” inside a school once a year, exactly how is assessing this agenda? This just infuriates me.

Regarding bullying: sadly, this happens. However, if a child is taken out of school and doesn’t learn how to deal with this behavior, where are they going to be when they go to college or get a job? Yes, children can be mean – and they tend to be pretty straightforward about it. However, the same behaviors don’t disappear as those kids get older, though the behaviors are sometimes more subtle. There are difficult people at every age, and if children don’t learn how to deal with these people, then that’s going to make it more difficult later in life. I wasn’t a popular kid in school, and I had people pick on me occasionally, and yes, sometimes I thought I was ‘ugly’ or ‘stupid’. However, that didn’t make me a suicidal or miserable person or a kid that experimented with drugs or got into trouble, and I went to college (graduated an A student and with honors and achievements) and I now run my own business.

Obviously, I think homeschooling is severely limiting for children. At the very least, put them in a school for middle school and high school. Using “oh, well they’re involved in church and other [middle-class] activities” as a “they’re being socialized…see” example is incomplete. Socialization includes learning how to deal with people outside of your own experience, and by limiting who they socialize with, you limit how they learn to deal with other people — especially since you live in a small community.

I find it an interesting discussion, too, and I’ve debated this with other pro-homeschoolers I know.

For me, socialization is more than just learning how to behave appropriately for a situation. My definition of socialization includes experiencing, learning from and appreciating diversity firsthand.

I find it funny when people wonder if people that homeschool read nothing but very religious or Christian only books. Many people do only read that type of material but most do read the Bible. The Bible does contain many aspects of life, anything you can think of is in the Bible. The difference in reading the Bible and secular books is that the Bible has a point to the story and secular reading is just that-reading. In the Bible one will find war, adultary, homosexuality, murder, witchcraft, and the list goes on and on and on. So I can have my child read what public school children are reading but use the Bible (for most of the same material) and then see what God says and then we can talk from there. Alot of people who have started schooling their children at home maybe even using a online school aren’t even doing it for religious reasons, they are doing it because people are losing faith in our schools. I started homeschooling my third child (four children in all) because after being in kindergarten a month she started crying. Kept sending, would cry all morning before school, then before and after and then all through the weekends. Her pediatrician and a doctor from behavioral health, and also a therapist (who she saw for three months) all said to take her out of school and homeschool her. If we kept her in school they were afraid that it would be more damaging than what was already. To this day (she is in fourth grade) she still becomes very achitated if you mention her and school in the same sentence. Every year we talk and ask about her going to school and she becomes very upset. Her therapist said we may never find out what went wrong but not to push her into an uncomfortable situation such as that. Her other siblings go and are fine with school. Sorry for being so long just another way to look at why people may school their children at home.

I admire your decision to homeschool. I knew from the time my daughter was born that I would eventually homeschool her. I was a teacher before, and I am choosing to homeschool for the exact same reasons as you. Kudos, Mama!

Sorry to keep posting Lynnae but I saw something so very interesting in the Parade magazine yesterday. Someone asked about Will Smith (the movie star)wife opening up a small school. The answer came back that many people were amazed at the curriculum that she had put together for HOMESCHOOLING Will and her children that they wondered if she would share it or teach others. She know has a small school going for children that was inspired by homeschooling her own. This tells me that even people that can afford very elite, expensive schools have an interest in their childrens education and if the schools are lacking there is no reason for parents to school their own.

I’m just so glad to have found this forum! After a rather “bumpy” year with our daughter in public kindergarten, my husband and I are seriously considering/researching home schooling starting 1st grade. It has been such a shock to me what she has been “exposed” to (literally)and what we have endured as a family to get through this past year. I guess school just isn’t what it used to be?
When I read the original post I really felt like someone had just put into words what my heart and mind had been thinking! Thank you to everyone who has posted encouraging stories! I’m still a little nervous, but very excited about the possibility of home schooling!!! Thank you so much.

I came into this pretty late but what Bob said kinda irked me. My husband is a public school teacher and I homeschool my oldest. As parents we know our children best… yes, we may “cherry-pick” what we believe our children should learn but guess what, so do the schools. For example: Slavery… it is not very commonly known that Black people also had slaves and that White people were also slaves. Why not?? Because the “public schools” don’t feel we need to know that.

As parents, we know our children best… my son is PHENOMINAL at math so I push him harder there, I know he will do something with math when he is older. Public school couldn’t care less that my son is great at math… he should be at the same level as every one else.

My middle son scored 50 out of 100 on his handwriting when in Kindergarden. WHen I asked the teacher why he got a 50 she said, “He has the best hadnwriting in the class so I didn’t feel it was right to give him a zero… but he holds his pencil between the wrong fingers.” Are you kidding me?? He is left handed so I am glad he doesn’t twist his wrist all up, but who really cares if he rests his pencil on his middle finer or his ring finger???

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Kelli, wow. Just, wow. What you’re teaching your kids re: black people owning slaves and white people being slaves is a prime argument AGAINST homeschooling. Your kids are going to have a very twisted sense of history. Why teach that? Why is that important to you? Who owned the political, social and economic power at the time? And all your kids will be able to say is, “well, white people were slaves too, so there.”

Such an interesting topic! I just found you today and had to chime in. I am planning on homeschooling my kids (ages 4 and 2), and I was homeschooled myself. The most common reaction I get when I tell people my plans is “you are a redneck who doesn’t value education”. On the contrary, academics are extremely important to me and frankly I don’t think that public school can give my kids a quality education. Math and science are incredibly important in the world we live in. All you have to do is look and see how U.S. students stack up against students from other countries and you can see we are not doing a good enough job. Furthermore, most parents I know who send their kids to public school for hours a day have to come home every night and do hours of homework. Six or eight hours a day and they still can’t teach the kids? Not very efficient, and I know a lot of kids that are completely burned out by age 11 and do not enjoy learning. I want my kids to love learning, get a good education, and still have time for other activities and just being a kid.

As to the socialization arguements, I agree with Linda Dobson (The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child). She points out that the socialization is basically 28 other kids the exact same age as your kid, from the same neighborhood as yout kid. So your six year old will be getting the majority of his social cues from….other six year olds. If socialization is such a concern for anti-homeschoolers, they should realize that there is much more value to trips to the grocery store, library, church, museum, 4H, swim lessons, sport, music lessons, etc, interacting with wide variety of people of different ages, professions and ethnicities. Real people doing real work in the real world. That is a better and more realistic way to socialize children than by locking them in a building with 28 of their peers for 8 hours a day. Which still doesn’t seem to actually educate them.

Anyway, sorry to get on a soapbox for my first post! I will definitely be adding you to my Must-Reads! Good luck with the homeschooling and I am looking forward to reading about your adventures.

I support your decision to homeschool your children. McGraw-Hill put out a program called Aleks that is very helpful with teaching math, since it will identify any weak areas the children may have and quickly bridges those learning gaps. If I could go back in time and with the right family situation, I would have begged my mom for homeschooling. Public schools waste massive amounts of valuable time, and I firmly believe that most of a person’s necessary education can be done in 4 to 5 hours a day. As your kids get older, helping them to fill some of their day with a job or a personal business would really be neat.

Go for it with the homeschooling. As a public school teacher, I have seen home schooled kids who were socially awkard because they lacked socialization and ones who had been involved in church groups, sports, scouts, etc. who were comfortable with their peers and usually better than usual with adults. I have seen kids who excelled academically and ones who struggled either because of poor teaching (their parent should never have been home schooling) or because of undiagnosed learning difficulties that needed more skilled intervention. But I have seen more positive than negative. As to the letter writer who was concerned they would not be exposed to philosophy and literature, most home schooled and privately schooled kids actually read a far wider variety, although admittedly they do get less of the modern. (And avoid Lolita, kids are exposed to sexualization far too soon, and a book about an adult and underaged girls has no business in a kids hands, even if it is considered a classic.) Many of our elementary kids read more written for school books than classics.
The one area that I have seen home schooling very consistantly weak in, is science, but so is the public school these days. And I am not talking about the creation/evolution debate. As one person put it after listening to a homeschooling mother at our church spouting off all the “proofs” for creationism that she had gotten out of her children’s curriculum, “Kinda makes you wish she would switch sides, doesn’t it?” As to dealing with bullying, what part of being an adult does verbal and physical abuse from another kid or kids prepare you for? For every child who learns to deal successfully with bullies, there are many more who are seriously harmed emotionally and in self-esteem. Schools are aware of this and it is a major goal in many to stamp it out. Bullying by kids is not the same as difficult adults, it is the same as abuse and/or assault depending on intensity.
Once you have built a foundation, don’t be afraid to move them back to public schools or a good private school if you find they need a more qualified teacher than you; say you got them through algebra, but they need calculus, or they excel in science and really need someone who is more expert in physics or chemistry. Not knowing their limits is a major weakness for parents homeschooling. A computerized HS biology program won’t cut it for the kid who wants to go premed, although your future business major might be fine with it.
Expose your kids to many different kinds of people through volunteer work, mission trips, etc. which will no longer be limited because of school schedules.

Pretty much amen to the post and most of the comments. My wife and I got tired of contending with government school “educators” on an almost daily basis… I used to grade and return the letters my children brought home from the Principal’s office… usually a “D” for grammar and spelling and an “F” for content. I wrote special software for my children so that they were able to actually learn on their own. Three of my children are now homeschooling their children… with spectacular success.

I was an early admissions student at our state university, but it was based much more on what I learned outside the classroom (e.g. sitting on the floor between the stacks at my “High” School library and downtown public library) than in the government school classrooms… which BTW were orders of magnitude better when I grew up (in the 1940s and 50s) than anything I’ve been able to see today.

Homeschooling is the hope of our future if we are to progress scientifically, academically and politically to restore our American Republic to its former innovative entrepreneurial and sociological greatness.