This is an oldie, but a goodie. I first ran this post last December. Enjoy!
I thought I had it all figured out. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about ways to keep your children from getting the gimmes this Christmas. Then Saturday morning happened.
My 5 year old son was sitting at the kitchen table, happily eating his cereal, when the words came out of his mouth.
I want a Hot Wheels game and a Wii for Christmas.
I did a double take. Perhaps I hadn’t heard correctly. “What did you just say?”
I want a Hot Wheels game and a Wii for Christmas.
I didn’t know my 5 year old son even knew what a Wii was. Where could he have learned about it? I knew that he found the Hot Wheels game in the Toys R Us catalog that didn’t get thrown out before he grabbed hold of it. But the Wii?
Then I remembered. NASCAR. My son’s favorite sport. He watches a lot of it, and he knows all the drivers, numbers, ….and sponsors. This has gotten us into trouble before. And when I thought about it, it occurred to me that Greg Biffle had driven a car sponsored by Wii this season. Those marketers sure know what they’re doing.
Will my son be getting a Wii for Christmas? No. First of all, I’ve already done my Christmas shopping. Beyond that, though, I don’t believe in buying my children everything they ask for. I don’t want my children to get everything they ask for at Christmas.
Overindulging children can lead to bad consequences. This was demonstrated in a recent article by CNN money about a family that earns a six figure income, yet has no emergency fund. When you put your children’s desires above your family’s needs, your priorities are just wrong.
What are you teaching your children by doing this? First, you teach them that buying something just because they want it is OK, even if it comes at the cost of not achieving a long term financial goal…like college savings or retirement. That’s how most people get into debt.
Second, it sets them up for unrealistic expectations later in life. I think a lot of young couples get into debt, because they want everything they had growing up right away. The nice house, the nice car, the nice clothes. They’ve never had to experience delayed gratification, so they go into debt for wants, not taking into account that the debt will effect their ability to pay for their needs down the line.
Am I saying that it’s wrong to buy a Wii for Christmas? Absolutely not. For our family, it’s wrong this year. We just can’t afford it without going into debt. If you can afford a Wii without going into debt, and you want to give it to your kids this Christmas, by all means do so with my blessing. But please remember to say no to your kids once in a while. If you never say no, you’re setting them up for failure in life.
If you want to read more on the subject of the consequences of overindulging children and how to avoid it, I encourage you to read Overspending for the Kids at Consumerism Commentary and Going Broke on a Six Figure Salary: First Blame the Kids at Debt Free Mom.
This year’s update: My kids are actually getting a Wii this year. (Shhhh!) We decided to do a family gift to cut down on clutter. Both kids wanted a Wii, so we saved the money throughout the year and paid for it in full. That’s the way to do it! My son won’t be getting the bike he wants, though, so we’re still saying no to things.
What is your take on Christmas? Do you get your children everything they want?
Photo by Randy Son of Robert.
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My daughter is only 2, and she doesn’t watch TV, and doesn’t have the gimmees (other than wanting candy for dinner!). I read the article on CNN about that family, and I have to say, they don’t get an ounce of sympathy from me. They are the typical “Jones” family, living above their means and not caring about the impact it has on their or their childrens’ future. Why on Earth would a 4 year old need skiing lessons? Or the 12 year old, a 300 phone with another 200 monthly bill on it? Sorry, but they come off as spoiled brats to me! Likewise, the parents- being so indulgent does not teach children a good lesson. Children learn by example. I tell my daughter “1 candy or treat a day”. I live by the same rule. I can’t tell her no candy for dinner if she sees me eating it. This applies to lots of things!
My husband and I live below our means for good reason. Together we earn a nice income. But he did lose his job last year, for 6 months. We didn’t have to go into debt for that. We paid cash for a 2 year old used Toyota this year and we also fenced our yard so our child can safely play, and paid cash for that as well. We prioritized our retirement, our safety, and our child’s education over fancy electronics, clothing, or other creature comforts. That $300 phone is not going to be cool another 3 months from now.
There are few things that people should buy unless they have the cash on hand to do it (house, college education, and reasonable car come to mind. And emergency medical care as well).
I want a Westie for Christmas!!! When I saw the picture on your blog I nearly squealed at my desk. They are my favorite dogs. I am secretly hoping that my husband gets me one for Christmas. It would suffice for a Chrismtas, Valentine’s Day, birthday and first anniversary present for the year and next year too!
As far as the Wii, I know quite a lot of families who are opting to buy their children a Wii as a joint gift. It does cut down on clutter. And at least with the Wii it gets kids up and moving a bit instead of just sitting on a chair. I think it’s a good gift that the whole family will really enjoy. I don’t think you’ll be sorry.
We make sure our kids know that money is not a thing to be wasted. For us it is most important that we pass on our values to our children than to pass our dollars to them. Guess what! I think our children are perfectly happy even without the latest gadgets and toys. And we parents are equally happy without an iPhone, Wii, etc.
My kids did not get everything they wanted, but everything they needed, yes. But they were told to save up their money and allowed to buy something special if they had earned the money for it. Milking cows and doing farm chores did not pay much, so they quickly learned how much time and effort went into buying what they thought they wanted, and many times decided that the money was too hard earned to waste.
Yesterday my granddaughter did ask me for something tho that I will get for her – probably today as we are looking at a week of below freezing weather here. She asked me to buy her another pair of gloves for Christmas – like I did last year – as the neurotic-when-left-alone dog ate hers thru no fault of her own. So she’ll definitely get that – a reasonable request.
I don’t have TV, so am constantly amazed while watching TV at the grandkids’ house at how much bombardment there is of all these new things/toys one cannot live without! It’s terrible! Brainwashed from babies into thinking they “Need” these things!
I agree with not giving kids everything they want for Christmas. I like the way my parents raised us, we usually got at the very least one thing we really wanted and though we might have been disappointed then, it’s helped us learn to cope with disappointments as adults, no doubt a lesson that is priceless in our generation. I watch my friends buy huge houses and drive luxury cars and then wonder how they’re going to sell their new TV when they can’t pay the bills. I sit back and watch CNN on our third hand TV and thank God for parents who taught me better than that. And Mom, I know you’ll read this so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
I just remembered a quote that I read somewhere to help scale back on the number of gifts kids receive. It’s sort of a guideline rhyme that goes, “Something they want, something they need, something to play with and something to read.”
My daughter asked for Littlest Pet Shop toys and books. So yeah, she will be getting everything she asked for. But only because she really didn’t ask for much. :)
OMG! What a cute pup! Anyways…. I LOVE my Wii. It’s awesome. There are also some relatively inexpensive games to go with (under $20 on sale). The only problem is that you have to buy an extra controller and “nunchuck” to have a multi-player game going on, which makes it not so frugal. Otherwise, it’s great.
My children from the very beginning(after I divorced their father 9 years ago) knew I had no money to spare.I do try and give them one or 2 things….under 100 dollars as I have 3 to buy for..they r older now…..20,17 and 15……..thank goodness I won an Ipod nano at the fire hall party…the oldest one wil be getting that..merry christmas
Thanks for re-posting this Lynnae. This has actually been really tricky for us so far. We have one 2-1/2 year old child and she is the only grandchild and great-grandchild on one side. I very much do not want her to have everything she wants, but by virtue of the number of people that buy gifts for her she gets it all. In our home we try to keep things simple and keep the toy-clutter down, but it’s tough, especially because she’s our one and only.
We don’t believe in getting them everything they ask for, but Grandma does!
I have a Wii and I love it.
Also, I have one that I’m looking to sell if you’re interested.
Yeah, we’re getting one too. After Gibble said he lost a lot of weight, my wife and I decided to get off the couch and “play tennis” in the living room!
Great post! We put off getting a Wii or any game system for a long time. You make some really good points about our culture of entitlement and instant gratification.
On the up side, a Wii can be a fun way to spend time as a family. The games are often good for group play. Just watch out, because the games aren’t cheap! :-)
Great post! I want every thing, lol but I don’t get it. One becasue I don’t need it and two because that is rediculous. I do not impulse buy for the exact reason of not wantingto go into debt. If I really want something I can go home think about it over night and come back to get it. usually by the time I get home I don’t want the item. I make lists and stick to them!
This Christmas with my 2 year old is the same, we have focased on tradition, decorating, baking, enjoying Christmas lights around town, singing carols. Im currenly debating starting this santa buisness but even if I do that I won’t go broke doing it. These people that buy buy buy for the holidays are crazy. My parents did that becasue they could and wanted to and honestly (i have told them this) it was not enjoyable. It was overwhelming. Its alot better to get one or two new things and be able to enjoy them rather than 10 things and play with each of them for a few minuets.
My co-worker and I were just talking and she gave me a tip that I loved: Save some of the gifts that your kiddo gets for b-day or Xmas (from relatives friends etc)for another day, when they are being really good or afetr a scary drs appointment. That way they can enjoy their items and you can cut back on the clutter. I also do the however many new toys come in we donate that many old toys!
I think that it is good that children don’t get everything they ask for. It is important to teach young children about making wise choices, sacrificing, living within their means, and saving for major purchases.
Be well.
We got one too, family gift! I am trying to get them 1 thing from their list, but that’s it. They would both change their lists if they knew the big gift anyways!
We are having a cash Christmas, so I’m not going overboard. I have managed to acquire a bunch of little things to fill stockings, clearance can be great some times!
I am reading this with concern.. Overhere in the Netherlands, people are also giving more and more expencive gifts to their children. I don’t. We give them some pyjama’s, socks, candy, a book and some creative things like glue, sissors, paper, collorpencils a.s.o. I love gifts that can be used up! Like glue and pencils. Next year they will need it again. I don’t understand why so many American children have to watch tv the whole day, overhere the advice is one hour per day for children upon 16 years.. Although we also mostly watch tv in the evening, more than one hour. Also, we don’t have so much commercials, so when the commercials come, we all ran to the toilet or kitchen to fix some tea. I also see the same with christmas decorations. Each year the shops want to make us believe that we need another collor decorations. Well, we have the same for 23 years now, some are even from my grandparents, and keep them save at the attic the whole year to unpack them with joy each december..
Thank you for this article. I hope that lots of folks read it and take careful thought about thier spending and giving this Christmas. Not only to thier kids but to one another.
My husband and I both have things we want. We always have things we want. But we pared things down to things we could really use and/or need. For example, he really needs hankerchiefs and socks. So, that’s what he’s getting.
We don’t need half of the things we want or even already have. Sometimes being frugal is about just living a more simple life…with less.
With a 4 y.o. and a 12 week old, this isn’t a huge issue for us – yet. But our son’s wants are on the upswing, and I can imagine that next Christmas will be tricky.
We’re keeping a lid on it by sticking to a three present rule. (Hey, if baby Jesus only got three, why should Freddie Greene make out like a bandit?) I suppose those three gifts *could* be a bike, a video game and a lifesize, remote-control operated dinosaur. But they’re not. We spent about $100 on two Thomas toys, but used a $60 gift card to Amazon (courtesy of Coinstar redemptions) to offset the cost, and rounded it out with a box of race cars from eBay.
Anything more than that would be just plain overwhelming – not just to our budget and our small house, but to our son!
haha! Getting the WII huh? I think it is a wonderful family gift! And these kids know everything! My daughter’s list of course keeps growing each and everyday. But I finished her shopping, luckily.
This year we capped on our spending indulgences for the kids. They will always find more they ‘want’. So, you can only go so far. We, of course, went a tad over but still managed to do pretty good.
Happy Holidays!
Our kids will only get one main gift each year plus their stocking & maybe a book. My son is only 3 & hasn’t started asking for things yet so I picked out something I think he will really enjoy & play with – the Tonka Bounceback Racer. Our daughter is only 6 weeks old so we haven’t bought anything for her since she doesn’t know anything of what’s going on. Plus, they’ll both get lots of gifts from grandparents & other relatives.
Going into debt is bad… very bad. I’m glad that you’re able to get them a Wii… I agree that sometimes, you must never always say yes to your kids. They need to learn that they can’t get everything they want in life. And most of time, things they want are not really things they really need or want in reality…