You don’t have to wait for perfection to entertain.
I need to host a birthday party in a couple of weeks. In November there’s a good possibility that I’ll be hosting Thanksgiving, and in December, I’m definitely hosting Christmas.
I love my new home, but it’s a wreck. There are places where there are no floors. The guest bathroom still has green and purple paint on the walls. All of my interior doors have patches and are unpainted.
Yes, I love my new house, but it’s not entertainment ready. Or is it?
The perfectionist in me wants everything to be just right before I invite people over. I’m mortified at the thought of people using my green and purple bathroom with the toilet that has a patched hole in the bowl.
But that’s not what entertaining is about. It’s about people and relationships, and you don’t need a perfect home to build good relationships and enjoy your friends and family.
I’m reminded of a time when my husband and I were first married. My husband took a job in a new town, where we didn’t know anyone. His boss and his boss’s wife invited us over for lunch one day. And much like our house now, their house was a wreck.
Like us, they had bought a fixer-upper, and like our house, their house needed serious work. The day we came over, they had no carpet, a non-working kitchen (we had takeout), and lots of building supplies laying around. Yet that’s not the first thing I remember when I think back to that day.
I remember how welcome I felt. I remember feeling like this young family really wanted to get to know us. I felt like they cared about what we thought of our new surroundings. I felt like we mattered.
And that’s the important thing in entertaining. If you’re welcoming, if you really care about your guests, that’s what they will remember. They will pay attention to your interaction, rather than the state of your home.
So if you are in the middle of a construction project, like we are, or if you can’t afford the perfect decorations or place settings, don’t let that stop you from entertaining.
If you wait for perfection, you will never have anyone over to your home. Hospitality is a lost art today, and I know, because it’s not something I think I’m very good at. But that’s no reason not to try.
Take the time to sit down and have a meal with those you love. In the end, the setting doesn’t matter. The relationship does.
If you aren’t comfortable entertaining, make sure you visit 4 Reluctant Entertainers. It’s a great blog written for, well, reluctant entertainers.
Do you have any entertaining tips for those plagued by perfectionism?
Photo by (nutmeg).
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, what a great post. A lot of us spend too much time and money trying to create the perfect castle and really…how much does it really matter?
As for how to fix the imperfections, I’d suggest serving lots and lots of alcohol… :)
Great post. We had a flood earlier in the year and I was hesitant for months to have people over because our house was a mess. I finally gave in and it worked out fine. In fact, the people I had over were happy to see the mess because they wanted to see what we had been talking about for the past few months.
Hey Lynnae – I hope this resonates with your readers cuz your post is definately my blog!
Yes, in the end we’ll never remember the table setting, mess or even what was served. It’s the bodies in the chairs!
Thanks for referring my blog! Happy Day!
Sandy
Oh how I wish everyone would teach that value to their kids!
I remember when were young we’d go to relatives homes and nothing was perfect. It is only the past 25 years or so that this nutsy perfection thing has taken over in America. Hopefully a dose of hard times will knock some of our stuffyness out. :)
Ouch, you nailed me!
I have lived in my house for 3.5 years and it is a wreck and will continue to be a wreck. I realized that only my parents and my sister have seen the inside of my house and I can probably count on one hand the times.
It is my perfectionism as much as theirs-I think I know what they will say when they leave, I have heard it before.
However, that isn’t any reason to keep OTHER people out.
Thanks for the post!
Oh gosh! That’s a separate issue. If folks would not only encourage the value of not worrying about what other’s say–but also of not saying things that are rude!
I know how it feels. I have some family that used to say stuff about my housekeeping back when I had 4 kids under 6 in my house. kind of rude. The thing is though it doesn’t make for good relationships and eventually I think comes back to haunt them.
Enjoy all your construction entertaining! It will work out just fine and you will enjoy it and have very fond memories of it later on!
Last Thanksgiving I had only had water hooked up in the kitchen for a week due to remodeling, was walking on subflooring, the counters had just put in but no countertops yet except the bare plywood, and the living room was sheetrock dust and sawhorses. But it was still exciting to have my family in my new home for Thanksgiving. We all made due and had a good time and mostly we have fond memories of it. This year, the house is still not finished, but it is down to only the living room is still sub floor, and none of the interior doors are trimmed nor painted, but none of that matters! What matters is the hearts of those who fill the room! Enjoy the time and the people!
Think of it as just a big camping-out party, only inside! :)
Thanks for this post! We just bought a house and are having a party with 30-40 people this weekend. I REALLY needed to read your words because I’m overwhelmed with trying to achieve perfection. We don’t even have switch plates on the outlets! Eek!
@Stephanie – if any of your visitors are little ones, I would definitely recommend getting the switch plate covers on… or cover them all with something else, such as painter’s tape or such. They can be dangerous if little one’s stick their fingers in them.
From a Grammi who had painters tape and electrical tape outlet covers for a long while :)
@Stephanie – I don’t have switchplate covers on either. I’ll be adding them before the birthday party, though.
This is so true, we just had Thanksgiving here in Canada and went to my friend’s apartment- they had mis-matched place settings and one person was balanced rather precariously on a broken chair, but we had a fabulous afternoon of great food, even better company and lots of laughs, and that’s what we’ll remember.
Of course in my house you are as likely to end up with a cushion on the floor as you are a seat on the couch so maybe I just try not to hold others up to standards I’ll never meet!
We remodeled a house several years ago while living in it. We hosted a 50 people Christmas Party and the guest bath was halfway done. Thankfully the toilet and sink worked but wallpaper was half stripped, shelves removed and cabinet partially painted.
We strung xmas lights everywhere and and put up a sign crooked where the mirror should have been that said “Work Zone – Under Construction” Guests thought it was funny and great.
If you wait for perfection, it will never happen in this life. Be sure to take a lot of pictures, and put them in an album. Next year and following years, add more pictures. It will be fun to follow things as they change. For me, it’s less about perfection than it is about the people.