Your family, dad – Would you rather have more money or be close to your family?

Your getting married – Be thankful you have a great partner.

I’m sure there are many other examples.

All I want to say, and I will keep this short, is that money will never give you true happiness, nor will the things you can buy with it. Happiness has nothing to do with money and never will.

I encourage you to appreciate what you have now, especially the non-material, and focus on your future well being.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I do have one thing to share with you that I hope you will sit down and talk to your fiancée about.

I also grew up poor (welfare) and vowed to have money one day. I have also had a considerable amount of money and then have fallen on hard times, and am making a rebound now. But through all of those 40 years, the things I remember as the most joyful, are the wedding I created for less than $2000, the 3 mile walk I took with my husband after dinner on my 40th birthday. The fact that when we were living in different cities for a year before we were married (when we were just friends) he called me every morning and talked to me on his commute and that I called him every night to talk about our day, all on a $40 a month unlimited family talk plan. I went without eating out/movies and pretty much anything not totally necessary to afford that, but it was worth it.

I have a $10,000 string of pearls he gave me and I know it meant a lot to him to be able to buy them for me (he grew up poor too). But the necklace that I wear the most, is a coin with a hole in it he found when we were walking on the beach, which I put on an old chain I had from childhood. It reminds me when I am stressed from some crisis at work or the outside world, that all I have to do is make time for a walk with my best friend (husband) and all my stress will melt away and all of these responsibilities will get handled but as long as we have each other and we remember that time is the one thing you truly have a limited amount of we will always find joy.

Your finance will know you mean the world to her, if you spend your most precious resource on her (your time). If you look at her with love i your eyes. Tell her she is beautiful whenever you think it, not just when she is asking “how do I look,” and write love notes to her that she can save.

You can buy flowers, but picking a wild flower from a path and putting in her hair will be more impactfull.

And above all… remember if you lost everything tomorrow, and you only had each other, how would you show her you love her? Whatever small things you would do, to still be romantic, those are the same things that a rich man should do.

When you have children, keep that same rule in mind as well.

Holding hands is free.

Best of luck to you in your journey. I wish you and your fiancée every happiness.

I get by on very little – about $1000/mo take home pay – yet I am about the happiest and most content person that I know. Yes, it has been a struggle to become debt free, but I never equated the lack of money with unhappiness. I think it is just a phase of life that everyone has to work their way thru. When you are young, it is a long hard road to become debt free, you don’t see the end of the debt, but it can also be a very happy hard road because you are together as family, and family is more important that anything else (in my opinion). But to be honest, I know that not having a mortgage on my humble little home is also part of my peace of mind.

Part of your lack of money unhappiness may be due to your choice of place to live – you live in a very expensive place and you expect a certain standard of living thinking that it relates to happiness. On the other hand, I live in a place that is rather inexpensive (housing-wise) to live, is extremely rural (town population is 4000, county pop. is 22,000) and I am happy/content with the simple pleasures in life.

It’s all a matter of attitude – all the money in the world will not change one’s attitude about whether one is happy or not. Until one finds that contentness inside, that has NOTHING to do with money, one will not be truly happy, no matter how much money one has.

For example – I had my 6 and 8 yr old grandkids last night for dinner. I could have spent money and taken them out to dinner, gotten pizza, or a happy meal deal. Instead, we pickup up dinner locally – we stepped outside with our container and shears – and they picked up their dinner – fresh tomatoes, beans, squash, chives, nasturtium and chrysanthemum flowers, kale, dill, lettuce, etc. Then I supervised while they cooked dinner together – elk burgers, mac & cheese, squash/beans/onion/bacon medley, and the kids each made their own colorful handpicked salad. They ate every scrap of it eagerly and asked for more. It was simple, almost free, and a wonderful time spent together as family. They enjoyed Grammi’s attention. Money just can’t buy that kind of happiness and contentment:)

I will have to reflect upon it since I feel that I put family, love as much more important than money unlike people have said.

Thanks for the honest comments!

Because of divorce we had NO money in my childhood. We had one eye on the stove and the oven was broken, no microwave, dishwasher or dryer. My mom still provided meals from that one eye. I lived without many things. I married early and we had little money for many years. I set my mind that I would take care of what we had and learn to make what I could. I learned to sew, smock, craft, cook, constantly Bachelors and he knew it would take 6 years going at night- and most of that time studying or being at school at night. We both felt that we would rather live with less than to give up 6 years of time together as a family. Is that lazy? God has provided advancements where he was told without a degree it was impossible. We now make above average in income and live in a beautiful home and all our needs are met. We learned to be content with what we have. Always strive to advance and better your life. But, not to obtain a status or certain bank account. I strive to learn how to cut our expenses more and learn new skills that better our life. I think it is more important to live with little and be happy than to live with discontent that you do not have more.

I have done well- went to a great private college (I worked, had scholarships and loans) and got a Master’s degree also. I met my husband our freshman year. This weekend we celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. We have an almost 2 year old daughter. I still worry some about money, but we are doing okay. I want more children and want to stay at home. Without my salary, things would be a lot more difficult for us. But my heart is at home.

David’s story struck me as pitiful. Just because one grows up in “hard times” doesn’t mean you’re stuck there. Yes, money has importance, but it is not the be all, end all. Sure, you cannot live without it, but this person is placing more importance on money than on love, family, life, country and last but certainly not least, God.

How sad is that?