Is Frugality Deprivation?

Posted by Lynnae on August 21, 2008

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The following is a guest post by Kelly of Almost Frugal, a blog about frugality for the rest of us. She is American, but lives in France with her three children and handsome French frog of a husband. If you enjoyed this post, why not subscribe to her feed?

No meals in restaurants. No picking up a new shirt, just because. Certainly no shoe stores allowed. No popping into Barnes and Noble when on your lunch break. No perusing the middle aisles in Target, just for fun. Boy, this frugality thing sure is a blast, isn’t it?

Is frugality deprivation? I mean, after all, it is your money. In all likelihood, you worked quite hard for it. Shouldn’t you be able to spend it as you please? It’s just there to be spent. Isn’t it?

One of the things that’s hardest about any lifestyle change is telling yourself that this is the way it’s going to be for the rest of your life, forever. The fear of never eating another Quarter Pounder has sidetracked more diets than I can count. And the fear of never being able to afford to eat at a fast food restaurant has sidetracked more budgets than I can count.

That’s true deprivation, not having the freedom to do as you choose. Lynnae’s frugality, while maybe not always the easiest choice, has allowed her to accomplish a mighty goal: buying her own home. That has got to be a great feeling and it comes from being, maybe, just a little bit deprived.

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Comments

12 Responses to “Is Frugality Deprivation?”

Susy on August 21st, 2008 4:50 am

I think getting over that feeling of entitlement is what really gets people. The, “I work hard so I deserve to buy something nice for myself” They don’t think “I don’t need that and I really can’t afford it”.

Mr Chiots and I have been super frugal since we got married, our entertainment budget was $7 a month back then (8 years ago it’s only up to $25 now). We however have never felt deprived. We feel like we are lucky to have good jobs and each other and everything else is just bonus. We would rather not buy a t-shirt or some cheap thing at Target that will go to the goodwill in a couple year, and end up going on a great vacation to Alaska, or be able to retire 10 year earlier.

You always have to look at what you’re getting, not what you are not getting!
Lorie on August 21st, 2008 6:09 am

Sometimes my husband &I do feel deprived because all he would like to have it a beer & all I would like is some new scrapbooking supplies. We tend to use our birthday money for things like this. We also realize that we have chosen this lifestyle for ourselves. We believe with all of our hearts that it’s right for our family for me to stay home & for him to provide financially. We know that with time & effort our circumstances will change & perhaps we’ll get to take that family vacation to Disney World some day. As much as I get anxious about our financial situation, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I have a wonderful, hard-working husband who is trying to do something to strengthen our finances. I have a very good three year old boy who challenges me every day & I have a daughter on the way, which is another challenge right now. We have a secure roof over our heads, food on the table every night, & occasional splurges that keep us going. God has been so good, I can’t ask for anything more.
on August 21st, 2008 6:54 am

By adding a category called “Mad Money” to your budget, you can still spend somne money without the feeling of being deprived. Budgeting can make you feel too constricted in your spending and if you have that feeling, like dieting you probably won’t be successful. So add a category to your budget where you do not have to account for the money in that category. It could mean the difference between success and failure!

Bellen on August 21st, 2008 7:19 am

Deprivation or life choices? I’ve never been a ’shopper’, or had hobbies that required continual replenishments of supplies. I get a thrill out of visiting museums, libraries, state parks, the beach, seeing a rainbow, eating the first ripe tomato. Do I ever feel deprived - maybe - but I know I’ll never be homeless by default or hungry. I may not (actually never will) have the latest fashion, nor eat out once a week, nor have a McMansion, but I’m happy with my lifestyle and would not change it for a million dollars - I’d bank/invest that money instead.

beloml on August 21st, 2008 8:02 am

Frugality is NOT deprivation. It is about getting the most for your money. I’d rather buy a $100 pair of shoes that are stylish and comfortable and will last for six or eight years than five pairs of $20 shoes. I’d rather buy a more expensive–and reliable–car and drive it for 12-15 years than get a new cheapo every five or six years.

It’s about cost per use.

Tom on August 21st, 2008 8:19 am

I find that frugality is a positive challenge for me. A sort of zen for better well being and control over my impulse buys. Being frugal (the technical term for tightwad), has given me the opportunity to set a goal for myself. It has given me the opportunity to become more focused on my expenses and a challenge to better myself. So I guess I don’t see it as deprivation, but as a way to control my urges.
dona on August 21st, 2008 6:32 pm

Ugghh I have been struggling with this so much lately. We keep getting hit with stuff that forces us to squeeze tighter and afer awhile I just want to scream. Today I sat on a blazing hot back yard patio—just wishing I had my screened in deck that I hope to someday have (like all my other neighbors)

But then Dave Ramsey screams in my ear…

“Live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else!”

Then I pull out our Ez-up Canopy tent and sit in the shade and say “heck with all these people and their posh decks!”–some day I will have mine and it will truly be mine, not the credit card company. Then I sip my glass of water and clip my coupons.
Rob in Madrid on August 21st, 2008 7:21 pm

Deprived? Not at all, my wife and I are in the middle of our first ever credit card free vacation. We’ll come home without much money in the bank but there will be no nasty surprises waiting for us either.

How did we do that, by cracking down and really putting a push on to save money. What ever deprivation I felt in not spending has been more than made up for in fun we’ve been having on vacation.
The Frugal Momma on August 22nd, 2008 5:10 am

Sure, I’d love to update my wardrobe all at once, I really do miss the mall… But it isn’t an option for us right now. We made a HUGE financial sacrifice buying the house we did.

BUT, I have started to look around and see the “Stuff” that we seem to have had 4 ever & it makes me crazy. So I use that to motivate me when I’m out running errands. No more unnecessary stuff!!!
Steward on August 22nd, 2008 8:52 am

That’s true deprivation, not having the freedom to do as you choose.

I think that this is probably the most important statement from the post. Being frugal is about choosing to spend your money wisely, so if you can’t stay away from a Quarter Pounder even though you have chosen to live a life the spends money wisely can you really free say you are free? Maybe our consumerist culture has deprived you of your will to choose.
Weird eBay on August 25th, 2008 2:52 am

Being frugal doesn’t deprive a person of anything. Being broke does deprive us. The difference is that we can choose to be frugal or not. If we’re broke, chances are we didn’t choose to be. We may have done something to contribute to the bad cash-flow situation, but we didn’t choose it.

Being frugal is nothing but choosing to wait to spend money later on other things–like a house or a car. Things we might not be able to buy if not for frugality.