Don’t live your life under the influence.
Everyone knows that driving while under the influence is a bad thing. But how about your life? Are you living it under the influence? I’m not talking about under the influence of drugs or alcohol, though that’s a bad thing, too. I’m talking about being under the influence of outside pressures. Do any of these ring a bell?
Television Advertisements
You’re relaxing on the sofa after a hard day, watching your favorite TV show. A commercial comes on. The TV beckons you.
Business suit: None
Office cubicle: None
Corporate ladder to climb: None
A small business to call your own: Priceless
There are some things money can’t buy. For being your own boss, there’s credit or debit Mastercard business card.
You sit back. That sounds like a great idea! The next day you research small business opportunities and jump right in….charging everything on your trusty Mastercard!
That example is a bit extreme, but television advertisements can have a profound effect on us. And if you have children, the effect is even worse. I’ve talked before about my son’s preoccupation with all things NASCAR and how that makes grocery shopping interesting. My son is definitely under the influence of television commercials. How about you? Do you make financially unwise decisions, based on something you saw on TV?
Friends
Perhaps more influential than the television are friends. Do you compare yourself to your friends? Do you join your friends in activities, when you know you shouldn’t be there? You know what I’m talking about.
Your friend calls you up to spend a girl’s day out (or a day out golfing, for the guys). She suggests you go to the mall, because she needs to pick something up. Before you know it, she’s talking you into buying a whole new wardrobe.
It’s hard to say no to peer pressure. I know from time to time I start comparing myself to other people, and I feel slightly self conscious about saying, “That’s not in the budget this month.” Still, politely saying no and being uncomfortable for a moment is better than paying for a new sweater over the course of 5 years, because you put it on your Mastercard.
Even better would be to politely decline going to the mall and suggesting a picnic lunch at the park instead.
Employers
Do you remember the movie (or the book) The Firm? Tom Cruise, who played an up and coming lawyer, was encouraged to buy a house, a new BMW, and live the high life, because that’s what lawyers do. And the firm expected him to live a certain kind of lifestyle, because it reflected well on the company.
My husband and I have been fortunate in that neither of us have ever held a job where we felt a lot of pressure to conform to company standards outside of work. The worst was when my husband drove an old Datsun B-210 (an ugly turquoise color, too) while working as a salesman. I remember that he hated showing up at a client’s business in that car.
Still, we didn’t buy a new car, because we didn’t want to take on car payments. It was a good move then, and my husband lived with the uncomfortable feelings.
Have you ever felt pressure from your employer to live your life at a certain standard?
The News Media
I’m probably going to take some flack for this one, but I’ll say it anyway. Right now the news media is all about global warming. I’m exaggerating here, but sometimes it seems that if we don’t stop driving our SUVs, running our air conditioners, and eating prepackaged foods TODAY, the world will explode TOMORROW.
Don’t get me wrong. I believe in being a good steward of the earth, and I’ve talked about saving energy and wasting less before. And those are things I believe in. But don’t go into debt buying a hybrid car just because the news media says you have to. Always do your research on your own first, and then make a plan and stick to your plan.
How about you? Have you ever lived your life under the influence? Are you under the influence now?
For those of you looking for my book review post at Lynnae’s Bookshelf, I’m going to postpone the start of the new series one more week. With VBS last week, I haven’t had time to start the book yet.
Photo by paulaloe.
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I am under the influence of this blog. I had the desire to bake bread after reading your post, even though I don’t eat bread. ;-)
I would say the biggest thing I’ve ever been under the influence of is my friends. This isn’t because my friends are bad people who encouraged me to do into debt. It’s because when I was younger I had a much lower-paying job than most of my friends, and I was too embarassed just to say I couldn’t afford to go out to dinner or I couldn’t afford to go to the mall.
Once I finally took control of my finances and just started admitting that I couldn’t afford something, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Everyone was really supportive and understanding. I wish I had been more honest with them years before.
Fortunately I now work for a non-profit credit counseling agency, so no one is encouraging the employees to live above their means! And I really don’t feel like television or the media pushes me into spending; at least not that I’m aware of. :)
I agree with Kristen, I don’t think that advertising or the media has ever had any sway over my spending- certainly I can’t imagine feeling the need to purchase a hybrid because CNN has a special on global warming.
Ditto on the employers, but I work in academia, where no one makes a great deal of money.
As for my friends, sure I’ve had people encourage me to buy something, but I’ve never had a problem just not getting it- I don’t see why you would need to give a reason as to why you are not purchasing something.
Hi, I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I learn a lot from you. I have to say I don’t live under the influence. As Will Smith said, “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like”, the society seems to live under the influence these days.
To me, changing SUVs to smaller cars is a necessary thing. Earlier this month, GM closed its SUV manufacturing facility because there is no demand for this type of vehicle. If you look at common sense, not environmental sense, exchanging an SUV for a much smaller and gas friendlier car does a lot of good to your pocket. A Hummer takes 10-15 mpg while a Corolla consumes 30+ mpg. On top of that, a Corolla is about 1/2 to 1/3 cheaper than a Hummer. So not only exchanging the big Hummer will save you money but also save the Earth. That part the media doesn’t tell you but I think the media as well as the environmental organizations should. I think people who can afford Hummers definitely can afford Corollas. It’s just something about driving a big SUV that attract them. Those people need to switch car but for those who already own nice and gas-friendly cars, no need to switch to hybrids.
Fantastic post. I love the site!
It is amazing how all these things tie together. Think about your friends for instance. Once they know you have a certain job and a certain income level, they expect certain things out of you. If you earn $100k at a job and still drive a vehicle from the previous century, the whispers start or the friendly jabs about what you drive begin coming in.
Or, like my family, we buy a lot of used stuff off craigslist. Not everything, but a lot of it. People are always wondering why we are not buying new since we have enough money to do it.
The peer pressure can be relenting…
I love the SUV comment, it’s so true. Everybody freaks out and then, heaven forbid, I continue living my life normally. One of the funniest things I ever read was a post on the car forum that my husband belongs to, the guy said something like this, “Every time I find a Prius, I can’t help but get next to it, down shift and take off. It’s like saying, ‘Thanks for offsetting my carbon footprint!’” By the way, it was a guy who drives an NSX. :) For a gorgeous Ferrari beater, she still gets about 25 MPG…
Oh, the horror people would think I’m causing because my S2000 doesn’t have a catalytic converter. :) Personally, I’m all for global warming… I get cold easily. ;) (Plus the whole thing about there being cycles the weather goes through, and that this isn’t the first time the temperature has overall increased.)
The news channel I watch actually did a comparison of the costs of buying a hybrid versus just paying more for gas over 5 and 10 years, and keeping the current car came out on top in terms of money saving. It has re-run a similar segment several times since, advocating consumers do research before buying a hybrid because it may not be the best option. So, I think it’s overgeneralizing to say the media is telling us to buy hybrids — media coverage varies by state and local area and everyone hears a slightly different story.
I find reading financial blogs like yours and books like “Overspent American” by Juliet Schor have a strong anti-consumerist/comparison effect on me. The more aware I am of how my spending is influenced by outside sources, the easier it is to quell. Your post is yet another good reminder of this.
I think the media has more influence on us than most other pressures. They all get on the same topic and drive it right into the ground! I think if we shut off all news programs we would be much better off.
We had an ugly turquoise Datsun B-210 when I was a really little kid! And We had that thing forever– I remember when it became impossible to get parts for it, and the mechanic would try to find parts for us in the junk yard. I remember the grocery store parking lot where my mom would always say “don’t lock it! maybe someone will steal it!”. Finally had to get rid of it when it could no longer pass inspection, because there was no way to find replacement parts for love or money.
Sorry, I guess I don’t have anything constructive to add– the mention of an “turquoise Datsun B-210″ just flooded me with nostalgia.
I think the older (more mature) :) I get, the easier it is to say NO and not think a thing about it. The problem is watching my attitude around them and not making them upset by my saying, What a Waste of Money!!!! :) After all, frugality is MY standard, not theirs! My friends have gotten used it – altho an every 2 months girls night out IS in my budget. As it’s usually at someone’s home, it’s not very expensive, and we always have a blast.
TV is NO problem – I don’t have it – can’t say I miss the constant bombardment of commercials at all. I don’t get aggravated about it tho as it’s their jobs to sell sell sell. It’s MY job to say NO!
I deliberately took a job that’s jeans and Sweatshirts – no employer pressure about dressing up – I just need to do my job and they’re happy.
My family is used to garage sale finds (some new, some not, for gifts – no pressure there.
For me it was a matter of becoming thoroughly comfortable with myself and my ways of doing things. Now it is just second nature and really requires no thought at all to Just Say NO! :)
As my Dad says, I have a rather UNIQUE way of looking at things :) Guess that’s a nice way of saying he accepts my frugality!
great post and i so totally agree with everything you say. I do think that Television can be very stressful and i often have to turn the news off just as it gets me down so much. Its not that i want to stick my head in the sand but it just seems so contsant all the time.
Also i think we are to worried about keeping up with the jones and worrying if we meet everyones standards ie how we look etc.
This is a great topic. I talk a bit in my blog about how I got into my little financial disasterpiece, and a big part of the reason is that I allowed myself to be influenced by those around me.
I dated someone from a very affluent family. And although he was extremely generous, I found it hard to say no to putting myself into situation where Id be forced to spend some sort of money (traveling for example).
I also lived in LA, where even the poor appear to have a nicer lifestyle than they can afford. I bought into it.
I eventually had to take personal responsibility for living a life I was comfortable with.
I think my big problem is the keeping up with the Jones’ attitude. I think sometimes it the pressure I put on myself. Well so and so is my age and has this so this is what I should have. I am getting better about not comparing myself to others, but sometimes I still end up doing it. One thing I look at is my wedding 5 years ago. It was a beautiful wedding and it was a great day, but if I had to do it over again, it would have been much smaller and much more informal. While we had a great day, we are still paying for it. I thought it had to be this big lavish affair because that is what all my friends were having. But hello, they could have those because they weren’t paying for them. While we had help from our parents, we paid for a lot our selves. My really good friend’s parents paid for the entire thing. Good for her, but I should have realized at the time that our budgets were different and adapted to meet ours!
I think all your categories do “influence” our financial decisions, even if we don’t think that they do. I think subconsciously we all compare ourselves often to our peer group, or those we work with.
I don’t think this subtle influence is something that can ever go away. The challenge is being able to recognize when you are being influenced. As GI JOE’s used to say, “knowing is half the battle”
I am under the influence of the rest of the world. I’m constantly trying to figure out how I’m doing on the bell-curve of life. Am I successful? Am I struggling? Am I poor? Am I not?
It’s all very confusing and I know I should stop…but I don’t…because I’m an addict :)
Nice topic!
I used to be under the influence of all the things you’ve mentioned above. Particularly FRIENDS. Sometimes you have this feeling that you want to be “IN” within the group and so you buy what they have. Its a good thing I’ve over this bad habit and now being a new father, I’ve learned to be influenced more by His Word than any wordly stuffs.
By the way I added you in my blog roll! My site is http://fixmypersonalfinance.com/ thanks!
How about “controlling your spouse”?