We’d been together for nearly a decade and friends longer. We didn’t feel the need to marry at all as we were quite content in personal commitment rather than ceremonial/legal contracts. But when we looked seriously at starting a family we realized that it made the most sense to marry. It was an issue of consistent insurance coverage, surnames, lots of legal and financial matters. While we could have maintained independence it was just easier and made more sense to tie our fortunes (so to speak) together.

Although we’re very happy and have no intention or desire at all to ever dissolve our marriage, we’ve agreed it isn’t even an option until the kids are independent.

It’s strange, I suppose, but romance, commitment and love are separate from this entirely. We have all of that. Money is just a matter of sensibility.

And, well, in any situation where you are entering a contractual kind of arrangement with another person, you really should protect yourself. This is true in business, for instance, even though the *ideal* is that a businessman should never cheat a customer–they do it anyway, so buyer beware. Likewise in marriage, the *ideal* is that no one should betray their spouse–but this happens. Also, spouses die. In either case the affected spouse should be prepared to deal with the outcome.

I don’t see it as courting failure. I see it as being smart.

Now, as for people being pressured into marriage for financial reasons, it happens. I feel the pressure myself. If I got married I would have more legal rights where my little girl’s father is concerned, including the right to healthcare coverage (I could get it through the state, I think, but let’s not get into substandard state care or what the public thinks of me “freeloading” in that way). I’m resisting mightily, though, because he hasn’t been the best partner in the past–we would still be together if he had. I need more than just the financial security. If things took a turn for the worse, though… I might feel differently.

I can’t be the only one out there facing this, either. It’s pretty sad when going to the state with your hand out or marrying someone who wouldn’t make a good spouse are your best options.

to quote: Rising heating oil and gas prices this winter may make life especially tough for workers in low-paying service and retail positions, which now dominate a local economy that has lost many of its higher-paying manufacturing jobs.

It goes on to say, and I’ve read this else where, that many people are relying on credit to make ends meet.

My sister in law felt like the lady you quoted about relying on her husband, she went back to work because she hated being dependent on Jon for everything, But that had to do more with the fact they had a miserable marriage than anything.

I do follow Suze Orman, and think that most of what she says makes a lot of sense. But when she talks about how you should keep your finances separate, it really bothers me.

I agree with all of your marriage comments. It is 100/100.

I’m a stay at home Mom with 2 kids and I’m saying that it may be hard to do it on one income, but it is so worth it. It also helps to be married to the most wonderful, giving, and supportive man out there.

I do follow Suze Orman, and think that most of what she says makes a lot of sense. But when she talks about how you should keep your finances separate, it really bothers me.

I agree with all of your marriage comments. It is 100/100.

So, I live in “Moo-Town” – aka Tillamook, Oregon – Rural north coastal Oregon…. :)

It’s a matter of living where I get the most bang for the buck – my money goes a lot further here.

I could have done it in the Portland, OR area, but I didn’t like big city living. That’s why I didn’t stay there long, even tho the jobs paid more, and I moved back to the coast :)

Wages are less here, I dropped $4.50 per hour by moving here, but the money goes a lot further. :)
(of course it may go further because there’s no place to spend it….)

And my garden grows a lot better here also.

The ratio of my housing expenses to income dropped, but it’s probably offset by groceries and gas and everything else being higher as it’s trucked in 80 miles from Portland.

Back to the basics :) by necessity – but also because I hate wasting my money :)
This little house and all the elbow grease is in the $200,000 to $225,000 range. Just for reference. I’m just saying it CAN be done on one little income – but it’s NOT easy! There’s a lot of what other people would consider doing without – like no TV/Cable – but I don’t feel like I’m missing that at all. I’ve enjoyed learning the construction stuff this past year and a half :)

Hope you find something in your neck of the woods that you can do the same with :)