My Husband Lost His Job
Posted by Lynnae on March 27, 2008
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It is stressful when your husband loses his job.
No, not my husband. Not since last October, anyway. Unfortunately "my husband lost his job" is one of the frequent search terms people use to find Being Frugal.net. And it seems to be increasing in frequency.
Other search terms I’ve seen recently are "god’s provision during unemployment," "support husband lost job," and "financial what to do when might lose job." It breaks my heart that so many people are experiencing the same struggles that my husband and I experienced last year. But there is hope. And I’d like to address the steps you can take to make this tough time a little bit easier.
When You Feel a Job Loss is Coming
A lot of times you can see a job loss coming. Your boss seems distant. There’s a hostile atmosphere at work. Perhaps there are rumors that your company will be bought out. The financial statements look bad. The list goes on.
Though it does happen from time to time, people are rarely blind-sided when they lose their jobs. I know that both times my husband lost his job last year (yes, it happened twice in one year), he knew for a while that things didn’t look good.
If you see the proverbial writing on the wall, start saving all the extra money you can save. You’re going to need it to live on. If you’ve been snowballing money toward your debt repayment plans, stop. Go back to paying the minimum amount and put any extra money in your emergency fund. Start living as frugally as you can. And keep your eyes open for other job opportunities. Hopefully you can find a better job before you get fired or laid off.
As Soon as You Lose Your Job
File for unemployment. Don’t wait. I’m not sure how much things vary from state to state, but in Oregon, there is a one week waiting period before you can collect benefits. There also needs to be an investigation into the unemployment claim, and often that holds up your benefits for a couple of weeks. So you want to file as soon as you can.
Tell everyone you know that you lost your job. I know this is a tough one, but it’s important. As a Christian, I appreciated the prayers of friends and family. Beyond that, you never know who might know of an employment opportunity. Connections are everything, and the more people who know you’re job hunting, the more chances someone will know of a job opportunity for you.
Make a list of resources you can tap into if you need to. It’s important to do this early on. You may never need to use these resources, but you will feel better knowing that they are there. Some ideas to consider:
- Your church
- Local Food Pantry
- Energy assistance programs
- Salvation Army
- Sliding Scale Medical Clinics
- WIC
- Your state’s Medicaid Program (OHP in Oregon)
There will be others, depending on where you live.
Cut back your budget as far as it will go. Cancel the cable, cell phones….anything you don’t really need. You want to make your savings stretch as far as it will go, because you don’t know how long you will be unemployed.
Put as much effort as you possibly can into finding a new job. How picky you can be about your new job depends on whether you have any savings to fall back on. If you have a significant savings account, you can afford to wait for a great job. If you don’t have a lot of savings, you may have to string together some part time jobs to make a full time income for a while. My husband, who was an advertising sales manager by profession, took on part-time janitorial work to pay the bills.
Wives…What You Can Do For Your Husbands
Since I get a lot of search hits for "my husband lost his job," I want to make sure to touch on this. Job loss is stressful, and it’s sometimes easy to turn on the one you love in the midst of the stress.
Keep in mind that men take providing for their families seriously, and a job loss can make a man feel like a failure. Wives, this is the time when you need to be strong. You can reassure your husband that he is not a failure…that this is just a temporary setback in life. Assure him that you are on his team. Remind him that you still respect him as a man. Tell him frequently that you have confidence in his abilities.
I’m not talking about false flattery, but focusing on the positive. Your husband already knows the negative. He heard it from his boss, and chances are he’s hearing it from himself. Being the encourager in your marriage is very important in a crisis.
My Experience as a Christian
God does provide. It’s not always how you expect, and many times working through a job loss is more difficult than you anticipate. There are times you may even question if God is there. He is there, and he cares about your situation.
Philippians 4:19 says,
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
God will meet your needs. Not necessarily your wants, but He will take care of your needs. You just need to recognize and accept the opportunities he sends your way, whether it be a check from your church or a part-time janitorial job.
I can testify to the many times God has provided for my family in difficult financial times. For those who have landed on this site looking for hope, I hope you have found it. Take heart. The storm of unemployment will eventually pass. You will get through it, and someday you may be able to encourage others with the same struggle.
Other useful blog posts:
- Our Emergency Plan at Moolanomy
- How to Deal With a Drastic Decrease in Income at Cash Money Life
- How to Make Ends Meet When You Can’t Find a Good Job at My Two Dollars
- The Last Lecture and Brick Walls at Gather Little by Little
Did I miss anything? Do you have additional tips for surviving job loss? Please share!
Photo by p0psicle.
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I am not a financial expert. I'm just a wife and mom doing the best I can to live a frugal life and get out of debt. Like any human, I make mistakes. I write this blog out of my own experiences, and nothing I write should be taken as expert advice. If you need financial advice, please consult a professional.
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What an uplifting post! I hope it inspires those who need inspiration.
This title scared me this morning! I’m thankful to hear nothing happened, and I think this is an excellent article, by the way!
Whew! You had me going this morning.
This is a great list of tips and resources for handling a job loss, but don’t scare me like that!!!
Delurking to say that we have been here several times. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to not let this event get in the way of intimacy. My husband needs that more than ever during this time — probably the worst thing would be to let it get in the way. It’s probably THE primary love language to let him know that I really do love, respect and support him during this difficult time.
Wes lost his job last year, in September when the mortgage bank he worked for filed bankrupcty. Then he lost his next job the week before Christmas. It was super rocky, but your suggestions in this post could have been taken from our lives in the last 7 months. Thanks for the post!
Title scared me too! I really admire the way that you and Jim have handled the job loss and subsequent new job. I’m sure others will find this useful as well!
I’m so glad that the title was misleading to your particular circumstance.
I actually just recently started reading your blog and was a bit upset for you when I read the title. In any case, I’m so happy to see you advice for both a houshold, a husband, and his wife. I’m actually very thankful for your article. Keep up the good work! I hope that those who read this can gain hope as well as take in the advice because it is extremely important to know the points you made.
Thanks for the great post, I haven’t personally lost a job, but I know how hard it was on my wife when she lost her job. Luckily we didn’t have to cut back that much because I was the primary breadwinner at the time, but it is still hard to go through.
Stumbling the article!
Whew! I’m so glad this title didn’t apply to yall again. But for those who find this site who have recently lost a job, what good advice to follow and also great encouragement that it won’t last forever.
Blessings!
Thank you so much for posting this. In May 2006, my husband was blindsighted by a sudden downsizing at his place of work. It was obviously a financial blow, but I was completly unprepared for the emotional blow that it was to our family.
I am thankful that you posted this so that others out there going through this now can read this and have an idea of what to do next.
Thank you for the post, and GOD bless!!
Good all around article. Remember Oregon’s unemployment waiting week only applies once a year, so hopefully they didn’t nick you the second time.
Additional things you can do: Always be prepared…meaning keep up on your maintenance - the car tires should be good, the house mended,up to date on doctor and dentist visits, no major expenses put off (if you can help it)…. It is very helpful not to have any big expenses show up during an unemployment time that could have been avoided by just staying current on your upcoming obligations.
Also - always have your freezer/canning/drying/medicine cupboards stocked as full as possible and in keeping with storage expirations. You should be able to live a long long time off what is in your house without running to the store.
So in summary: Be prepared, and plan ahead
Good luck to any facing this!
You definitely got me too! I honestly do not know what I would do if I lost my job but your articles would def help. I have mixed feelings about the PayPal donate button…Hope all is well out there!!
Thanks be to God that we have never had to face this situation in our household, but I praise you for posting this. Unfortunately, too many people are facing this type of situation now and they need somewhere solid to look for help. Thank you for offering guidance, sound advice, and a little soul-lifting, for they certainly need it.
Great post, and very timely (unfortunately) for a good many families out here. The advice to pile up cash is great because most people’s first inclination is to try to pay off as much debt as possible. That only leaves you cash poor, but following your advice one could still service the debt out of their beefed up emergency funds while using the remaining funds to live off until re-employed.
Great post, Lynnae. I’ve been noticing the same trend as you. On February 5, I wrote a post called “What to Do Before You’re Fired.” It covers some strategies to implement before you lose a job. I’ve linked to it in the Name field.
Lynnae,
good post! I couldn’t agree with you more about God’s ability to provide for us. As the Bible says, His grace is sufficient for us. He will never leave us or forsake us and I am glad that you guys handled it the way you did!!
I’m a big believer in self-manifestation — i.e., you put your mind to it and you can find the way. There is nothing harsher to the ego than losing one’s job — whether it was expected or not. Your points are very good. Especially about cutting expenses. When no money is coming in, it can be eye-opening to look at where you’ve actually been letting the money fly out of your wallet.