Sam loves money. More accurately, Sam loves what money can buy. At 5 years old, he studies any toy catalogs he can get his little hands on. When we go to Target, he begs to look at the toys, hoping he can convince me to buy something. Fortunately, I’m more stubborn than he is, and I never give in.
Given that buying things has always been a huge motivator for Sam, I decided to use his desire to tame his little temper and encourage him to take on some responsibilities around the house. I fired up the computer and headed to DLTK to make a custom chore chart, featuring Thomas the Tank Engine, whom Sam absolutely adores.
We started him out with four responsibilities: making his bed, keeping his room clean, having a good attitude, and setting the table. When we began this system, Sam was three years old, so four responsibilities seemed like enough for starters. We told Sam that if he got stickers in all the boxes, we would go to Walmart and get a little toy NASCAR car, which cost about $3, and we all know how much Sam loves NASCAR. (For you new readers, Sam has every driver, number, and NASCAR sponsor memorized.)
Sam was excited and breezed through the week. I’ve never seen a three year old with such a good attitude! The next week he even helped design his new chart and worked really hard at filling it in. We decided to let him have up to four “holes” in his chart (places where he didn’t complete a responsibility) and still pass. After all, we all have bad days sometimes. But if he got more than 4 holes, the chart didn’t count, and he didn’t get his car. It only took one week for him to figure out that he didn’t like the consequence for having too many “holes.”
At the time I was happy that Sam had a better attitude around the house. But then something else began to happen. When we went to Walmart, he saw a $15 car that he wanted. I told him that we weren’t buying it. And then he asked, “How many charts is that?” I expected him to protest when I told him it was 5 charts, but he didn’t.
When we got home, he asked if I could make him 5 charts. I made the charts with Sam’s help, and we hung them up on his wall. For 5 weeks, Sam worked really hard, and every night he reminded me to put the stickers on his chart. He eventually did buy the car he was wanting so badly, and he’s “saved” to buy more cars since then.
What began as a way to motivate Sam to stop throwing temper tantrums turned into an exercise where he learned that he must work hard to afford expensive things. It stopped the begging in the store, too. Now when Sam asks if he can buy something, I just say, “That’s four charts,” and he decides if it’s worth it or not.
What are you doing to teach your children about the value of money? Have you ever just accidentally discovered something that works? Do you have a structured plan? Please share in the comments!
And to read more on children and money, check out recent articles by Rocket Finance and Gather Little by Little.
Photo by PPDIGITAL.
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January 10th, 2008 at 5:18 am
Excellent idea!
January 10th, 2008 at 5:29 am
Nice idea! I’m going to work on something similar. Wish my girls were motivated by NASCAR. . .the only toys I get to play with seem to all be pink and have some type of princess on them.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Great post!! Thanks for the link to the custom charts! It is great when you get a child to make the connection like this. Congratulations!
January 10th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Awwww….
I think kids also value toys more when they have to work a bit for them and wait. I’m going to remember this.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:46 am
It is a great idea and I wish that sort of thing worked for my kids–my kids don’t stick with something for more than a few weeks (and neither do I) so I constantly have to come up with a new motivation. They do have to save for things–I NEVER just buy them something unless they have done something definitely extra at home and that is only things from the thrift shop on the half price day, never anything from the regular toy section. In fact, they don’t even ask to look anymore.
January 10th, 2008 at 7:05 am
That is excellent! I applaud you for taking the time to teach your child responsibility and money management–so few parents do. I am bookmarking this article, no kids right now, but maybe in the future!
January 10th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Lynnae,
What a great idea and it sure beats the usual scenario I see in Wal-Mart (not sure about Target- our nearest store is 60 miles away) which is a child throwing a huge temper tantrum and THEN mom goes and gets the toy to placate him. You’re teaching good values to your child, the others are teaching theirs “throw a bigger fit and you’ll get a bigger toy!”
God Bless!
January 10th, 2008 at 9:09 am
We’ve tried a number of things throughout the years, with varying amounts of success. My kids are a good bit older, (7,8,13,13), but we’ve instituted a system over the last year that seems to be working pretty well. The younger ones can earn up to $5 per week for basic chores (room clean, laundry put away, toys picked up, homework done, etc.) and the older ones can earn up to $10 per week, as more work is expected of them. Allowances are docked for shoddy/incomplete work, and any effort above and beyond our expectations results in a bonus.
This may seem like a lot of money, but most weeks, they don’t all earn the full amount. They are expected to tithe to our church and buy any and all toys or books they want personally as well as birthday and Christmas gifts for their siblings. In addition, I will spend a certain minimum amount for basic clothing/shoes/school supplies, but if they want anything fancier (what we call an upgrade), they pay the difference between what they want and what I’m willing to pay for any given item. Anything they need for school that is lost or broken is replaced entirely out of their pocket unless it’s for normal wear and tear.
So far, the younger two are still spendthrifts, but the older two are much more careful with their money and will look at newspaper ads and circulars to find the best prices or will buy used video games or books at 1/2 price or less. They all have savings accounts, and are managing to save between 15-40% of their earnings, depending on the child, and they love getting their bank statements and seeing how much interest they’re earning.
It’s not a perfect system, and we may still tweak it here and there, but it’s the best we’ve come up with so far.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:12 am
@Michelle - I worked as a cashier at Target in college, and I witnessed the same scenario. I wanted to take the mom aside and talk some sense into her, but I didn’t think it would go over too well coming from a young, single, college student with no children.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Ha, ha! Probably not…but it is tempting, isn’t it?
January 10th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Fantastic way to introduce personal finance concepts to young kids! I plan to recommend your post in my next recommended reading roundup.
I just printed out a task chart for my 32 month old daughter. Great web site tool!
January 10th, 2008 at 11:22 am
MMND - Thanks for the future recommendation! A friend of mine introduced me to the DLTK site years ago when my daughter was young. There’s lots of good stuff there. And it’s all free!
January 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Genius.
This is a brilliant side-effect of an already great idea.
January 10th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Great job on your teaching method. Your little boy is willing to work extra hard to get something more expensive is a lesson to many adults. He sounds wonderful and thanks for sharing.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I love that!
What a great way to teach your kids so young!
Nichole
January 10th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Great idea! Recently my husband got a new wallet and gave his old one to our 6 year old. When I got home, he was showing it to me and showing me what Daddy had given him to put in it. He showed me Daddy’s business card and an old credit card. He said, “Mama, the business card makes us money and the credit card makes us lose money.” Let’s hope that’s one that sinks in for life!
January 10th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
We do the same thing with our 5 year old. It saves a lot of time fighting in the store. He knows that when he “wants” something he has to earn it.
January 10th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Here’s another viewpoint. Teaching kids that money is earned through labor is a good way to show them the value of money, but it does little to help them as future business owners/entrepreneurs/investors.
Another approach can take into account rewards for creating something new of value from “worthless” things. Drawings and paintings, dances, sports achievements, crafts, or good IDEAS around the house that have intrinsic value. Children that grow up with these values often succeed in doing great things.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
@Another Idea - That is a very good point. I will definitely pay attention to that. I think I do that already, not in conjunction with money, but my kids are constantly creating things, and my daughter has already picked up my love for writing.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
This is GREAT!! There are SO many reasons to try this with our 5 year-old son!! When my husband gets home, I’m gonna show this to him & get his backing… Thank you for sharing!! :oD
January 10th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
@SC_mommie - You’re very welcome! Thanks for stopping by to comment!
January 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Great job, Lynnae! That’s fantastic! I’m very impressed, and this is definitely something I want to try when my oldest is a little older (he’ll be three in a couple of months). We sort of used a sticker chart for potty training but I don’t think he really grasped the concept.
January 10th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
As a parent educator for my part time job, I can say with assurance that it’s very difficult for most to teach their kids about money. I do stress to them that the allowance is our most powerful tool in doing so, followed by a see through piggy bank. Whether they get it or not (most of them don’t have their financial stuff in order–nor have a plan to–either), I don’t know.
-
Ryan
http://uncommon-cents.net/
January 11th, 2008 at 4:00 am
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January 11th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
This is a fanastic idea! My son is almost two, and I think this would go over his head right now, but I’m storing the idea away for when I think it might be effective. (Right now I’m just happy when he has the impulse control to wait a couple minutes for something!)
And I’m sure you are so proud of your son for the very mature way he worked for that toy! I can only hope my kids will be so persistant and patient!
January 13th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Sure this may work…but is this a good lesson???
In my opinion you are teaching some good stuff here but it seems more like buying him off ANN all the while you are creating yet another thoughtless consumer that the world doesn’t need more of.
January 13th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
I don’t want to get into a fight here but ignore that last poster. This post made me smile all over and I even read it out loud to my boyfriend. He and I don’t want kids, but it’s still adorable and I think it’s a GREAT way to teach your kids. At some point your chart may evolve to earning money instead of credits towards a toy. At that point (maybe age 8? 10? my parents started the shift from credits towards toys to money when I was 7) you can teach Sam about the value of tithing and saving, and he’ll be progressively learning more about money as he grows older.
The other day a 9 year old called Dave R to ask if he should buy a Wii. Dave asked how much they cost (about $250, said the kid) and then Dave asked if the kid if he HAD $250. The Kid, Max (age 9!), said “Well, I made $100 working on a house that now sold, and I made the rest over the last year doing chores and jobs). Dave then said that Max had learned many good lessons, like working and saving for the things you want. Dave then asked the kid if he thought it was a good idea to spend all of his savings on a toy he probably won’t want in 1.5 years. Max then said “Well, I think I’ll wait until I have $280 in savings so that I won’t spend all of it.” (!!!) The whole call was adorable and very touching and Max really impressed me. I can see Sam thinking along the same lines as he gets older and his chores become cash instead of credits
January 14th, 2008 at 6:52 am
@Gary - You make a good point, but I tend to agree with Shanti. If I were to stop with the chart, I would agree that it would not be a good thing. However, now that Sam is 5 years old and understands a little bit more about money, we are weaning him off the charts and on to a regular allowance, where he’ll have to tithe and save.
Then when he’s older, like my daughter, we’ll wean him off an allowance and put him on a salary, where he’ll be increasingly responsible for his expenses. My plan is that by the time he graduates from high school, he’ll be responsible for budgeting for all of his expenses, except for housing, utilties, etc.
But for the preschool age when kids have no concept of money, I still think the chart is a good tool.
January 14th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Learning to work for your purchases is a great habit to instill in our children. I like your overall approach, and do something similar with our kids.
My kids are on a commission system where they are paid a small commission for each chore they do throughout the week. At the end of the week they are paid for the chores they completed, and get nothing for the chores they haven’t completed. We also give “bonuses” for performing a random act of kindness, or for taking on a larger project (most recently, raking leaves with Dad).
January 14th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Teaching our children fiscal responsibility is one life’s important lessons and will define, to a great extent, how they will live their adult lives. That was a great read. thanks for sharing it.
Best Wishes,
D4L
January 14th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Very nice parenting.
The key is your willingness to say no and stick the the plan!
January 15th, 2008 at 2:37 am
What a great concept
January 17th, 2008 at 7:51 am
That’s such a great idea, well done!
January 17th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I see the good in this post (this chart thing is clever, and does teach the value of saving), but there is a danger to this method. Paying a child for being good and doing his chores can also teach him that things aren’t worth doing if he’s not getting paid for them. You may find yourself with a twelve-year-old who refuses to take on household responsibilities without first being bribed. Trust me - I’ve seen children as young as nine argue with their parents about the “price” of taking out the garbage!
So use this chart method with temperance. Be sure not to forget to also teach your children that we behave well and do chores around the house not because we get paid, but because it is our duty as members of a loving family to help and respect each other.
January 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am
@MRL - I completely agree with you. I think it is a good system for very young children, but I change systems around age 5, so that my children are receiving an actual allowance that isn’t tied to chores.
In fact, I wrote about that today.
http://beingfrugal.net/2008/01.....pre-teens/
January 17th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
thought this was cute and a way to get luke to begin aclimating to this way of thinking
January 17th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
@mike - Thanks! And I hope it works for you!
January 17th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
We’ve been giving our son an allowance when he was 4. We don’t have a chart but he does have chores. Setting the table, bringing his dirty dishes the sink, sorting his laundry and cleaning his toys up. He’s now 6 and in kindergarten. He has more chores and now knows that saving his money pays off. He was able to buy a game system for Christmas. Our next step is to open a bank account where half of his allowance will be deposited every week. (he gets $1 for each year) He gets $6 a week now. I’ve also asked him to contribute to charitable donations for school (mittens for an orphanage and baby items for a women’s shelter. I’d like my son to have a better relationship with money than I did.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:31 am
@joie - Good for you! Anything we can do to teach children about money before they go off to college is a good thing! I like the way you’re going to deposit half of his allowance!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am
One way to do this that may appeal to some is the website ChoreWars. You earn experience points and gold for doing chores. You put in the amount of points and gold they can get for each chore (which you can also tailor to your household). You can set up real-life rewards for certain amounts of gold, etc. And set it up like an in-home competition, if desired.
ChoreWars
We started this less than a month ago, and my house has never been so clean. It’s only adults right now, but it’s a great way to introduce munchkins to role-playing games, too. Two birds, one stone!
March 5th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Great idea! I’m going to implement something similar for our kids.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
that is a really awesome and simple way for a kid to learn about money. Way to go!
March 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
THAT is brilliant. I’m TOTALLY going to do that!!
March 19th, 2008 at 8:26 am
I have been struggling trying to teach my two little ones about the value of a doller. The have a set of overindulgent grandparents, so my little ones don’t understand that mom and dad can’t buy them the same things.
The chart idea is wonderful. I am going to sit down and make charts up for both little ones. Thanks for the post!!
March 30th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
This is a great idea, I will be using it with my children in the future. I love to read about parents teaching their children about money, not just earning and saving but giving to charity. Wonderful, just wonderful.
April 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I found this post, like many others on your blog, to be worth reading. Great job!
April 7th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I appreciate your blog. Just a question, though, do you think it is appropriate to motivate your son to obey for profit? What kind of heart motivation are you teaching? I know it’s hard, I have young children myself. But do we obey because we can get a car? I know that this is not easy to communicate to a child, but it seems to me that there are more important motives - gratefulness for what we have received from God is one reason that Christians seek to do things. I know this is hard, but I struggle with financial motivations for children.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
@Chris - I see what you’re saying, and believe me, I struggled with how to handle money and allowances in our family. I think the chart with the car reward worked well for what it was intended to do….get my son in the habit of doing chores without complaining and teaching delayed gratification. And if that’s all we did, I think we would have been doing him a disservice.
But we also taught him to help out whenever he was asked, whether it’s in the kitchen, in the garden, by coming when we call….there are plenty of opportunities to teach obedience during the day.
And we only used the chart/reward system until he was 5. Now he’s on a straight allowance that’s only loosely tied to his chores. He made the transition just fine, so I don’t think using the chart taught him that he only needs to obey when he gets rewards.
April 8th, 2008 at 9:16 am
As always I look forward to reading BEING FRUGAL. And am just as interested to read the comments left in the response box. I tip my hat off to all. Thanks! Its not always about being right or wrong but to know we are being heard!
April 18th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Wonderful story! In the future, your son will be far ahead most other children when it comes to understanding the concept of working for money and the final rewards of doing so. Hopefully many parents will read your article here and get their kids motivated in the right direction too.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
When I was about 7 or 8, my parents started offering me a dollar for every book that I read. I highly recommend doing this for any reluctant readers. At first, I just wanted the money, but I quickly fell in love with the books. Now, I am an avid reader!
Also, my parents opened a bank account for me when I was pretty young (13?). Although I didn’t have any money in it - probably less than 100 - it allowed me to learn how to budget my money, read a bank statement, balance a checkbook, etc. at a young age, making me more responsible about money now that I am in my 20s.
December 16th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Great idea. I seem to have an issue with my first grader on this now. She was great as a preschooler, but somehow it must have faded…
Mommie
http://www.mommieshome.net
January 5th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I bought my 8 year old some “designer” cash envelopes from http://www.crunchycute.com and taught her how to budget her allowance. She has several categories in her budget system: tithing, saving, spending…
She now knows that money doesn’t grow on trees!
January 21st, 2009 at 5:34 am
I’m trying something similar with my 4 year old. He has got a piggy bank and he keeps asking for more money and cries when we dont give it to him.