I’ll admit it. I like to shop. Or maybe I used to like to shop. Every year I looked forward to the Thanksgiving paper. I would browse through the ads to get ideas for Christmas gifts. I’d rarely actually go shopping on Black Friday. I value my sleep too much. But my mind would be in shopping mode. And from Thanksgiving until Christmas, I’d make it my mission to find great deals on the things my family wanted (note: not needed) for Christmas.
This year is different, though. I bought copy of the paper, because I haven’t started Christmas shopping yet. And I browsed through the ads. Instead of wanting half the things in the ads and lamenting that we don’t have the money to buy them, I was put off. Disgusted almost. How much of this stuff do people really need? How much of it is really beneficial to life? And for the first time in years, I have no idea what to get my family for Christmas.
I don’t feel the way I do because money is tight this year. Money has been tight before, and that hasn’t stopped my wanting. I think my change in attitude mostly has to do with this blog. I’ve been writing about frugality and wise spending habits almost every day for 5 months now, and it changed me. I’ve been reading your comments and suggestions, and you changed me.
This year I want to have a frugal Christmas. I want to focus on Jesus. I want to spend relaxed time with my family. I’ve aspired to all of these things in the past, but the thrill of buying things that my family would love got in the way. And unfortunately, my kids didn’t always love the things I bought. Oh yes, they were excited when they opened their presents on Christmas morning, but they received so many toys, that the things I bought were often cast aside within a month.
This year I’m going to take a long hard look at each member of my family before spending a dime. My goal is to buy them each one gift that they will really appreciate. A gift that reflects each of their personalities and interests. I still don’t know what those gifts are yet, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
Yes, this blog has changed me. You’ve changed me. Thank you. Here’s to a simple, frugal Christmas!
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I grew up in a “tons of gifts” family. We loved buying presents and often went overboard doing it. when my children were born my mom and grandma continued this trend and I joined in. It was fun to shop for everyone and I HAD to buy lots. Gradually we cut back as we realized how in debt we were and how overwhelmed the kids were by all the stuff. We try to stay home Christmas day and request that grandparents come at different times so we can enjoy our time with each family (lots of grandparents when divorce and remarriage is involved and I have the only grandkids). Each year I would ask the grandparents to give less becuase the kids couldn’t cope with all the stuff. One year we ended up with a house full all at once–everyone trying to give the kids all their presents at the same time. By the time the kids were done opening gifts they were just opening and setting aside and couldn’t remember who gave them what plus were falling apart from all the noise, stuff, and everything. Once again the grandparents had ignored my request for not so much stuff and this tie they got to see the results. From then on they cut back–they saw that the kids didn’t appreciate half the stuff, were overwhelmed by it all, and couldn’t even remember who had got it for them.
I am grateful for it because they finally backed off–they finally realized that the kids don’t want TONS of stuff that they can’t remember (they were still finding presents the next day that they had opened but forgot).Now each grandparent asks the kids what they want and gets them ONE toy and ONE outfit. The kids appreciate it and get to enjoy time with family and GIVING gifts instead of spending the whole day opening presents.
It was also a great reminder to me that I don’t need to overwhelm people with too many gifts and that my gift to someone is not going to change their world or make them perfectly happy, at least not my family. It certainly made it easier to be frugal and keep things simple.
In other words, yeah, I agree and identify with what you say. Those catalogs just irritate me now–kind of like when we stopped watching tv–now the commercials drive me NUTS.
Well Put!! This year I am looking at each person and buying things they need and will be useful to them. What is the point in a digital picture frame? I am still confused on that one? I want to be practical, but fun! I’ll let you know what I come up with!
Every year since the kids were born, we’ve gotten more focused on Christ and less focused on stuff. I think this was my big eye opening year. It seems like every year, we “have” to give the kids a big “wow” gift. But if you buy a bigger and better “wow” gift every year, when does it stop? With a Corvette on their 16th birthday?
We do the 3 gift thing. One “big” gift that they will use, encourage physical activity and hopefully will last longer than 4 months. This year it is good BMX bikes. We spent about 100.00 for each bike. The second gift is a pocket knife. We actually found two really good knives (much better than what we would have bought) in the barn I’m cleaning out. The third is books. Stocking stuffers will be socks & undies and maybe some candy.
With all the stuff they get, they certainly don’t need a ton of gifts from us. Sometimes I feel like I give them gifts so they don’t feel poor or neglected, but honestly, they have more than 3/4ths of the children in the world. I think that imparting them with the true meaning of Christmas will mean more to them in the long run than any “thing” I can give them.
Beware that it can be really, really hard to think of a gift that someone will really appreciate. Even if you know them well.
But, a simple frugal Christmas is a great idea.
I like the one gift idea. Takes off the pressure and even frees up your budget a bit (since you might be willing to spend a little more than you otherwise would’ve). :)
Plonkee is right – sometimes it can be really difficult thinking of the perfect gift that the person will appreciate, but it is sooo worth it – good luck!!
Right there with you! My mom and I did NOT go overboard this year…we only got what was actually NEEDED or VALUABLE this year for Christmas…I’m very excited about it actually. The kids will LOVE what they are getting and it’s something they will play with for years to come!
You’re article is very inspiring. We must always remember that Christmas is a season of love. Love can be greatly expressed with the quality time we spend with our love ones. Money can’t buy time! This is also a season to remember that God loves us so much that He gave his only Son to die for our sins! Merry Christmas to all!
You could consider giving gifts to charity in their name like through Heiffer international or Samaritan’s Purse. I have a friend who thinks that having a frugal Christmas is just getting things for her own family and not getting anything for anyone else. I’m just not sure that is in the spirit of Christmas.
Your not the only one who is facing a frugal christmas!
http://tinyurl.com/35wtlb
unfortunalty it’s alot tougher when it’s forced on you than if you choose it.
I just want to say to Drama Momma…We were given a digital photo frame for christmas….This was one of the most touching gifts given to us by our kids, why?
because I am the type of parent that runs around with a camera constantly…taking snaps of my kids when they least expect it or when they are doing their most mundane task like their homework….for me I love displaying pictures of my kids around the place, and sharing them with loved ones, the gift of a digital photo frame for us gives me more photo’s that I can look at then I can possible in purchasing and album,photo frames the time and cost involved in printing the photo’s and finding the time to put them into albums or track down the perfect photo frame. Instead of one precious memory in one frame I have hundreads in one frame.
That is the point of a digital photo frame.
I don’t have a personal problem with this. At the level of poverty in my childhood, I only aspired to one gift to/from each loved one. Looking around me at that time of year bothers me, though. I see poor people “limiting” themselves to $100 spending per child while utility bills go unpaid. I could go on at length, but that’s enough example for today.
I hope to have my daughters college paid for by the time she is 18. I have her pick one gift she wants each year for the holidays (our family celebrates several religions), and I have trained the grandparents and other relatives, that they are to send checks/paypal and a card (or just a card if they want). We tell her how big the budget is for the gift (she can spend up to 90% of the money sent). Based on what she chooses, we buy the gift, and the rest goes to her college fund. We have a giant drawing of a thermometer (5 feet tall), that has $100,000 at the top, and each holiday and birthday, extra money goes into that fund and we mark the thermometer. When she is old enough to hold a part time job, the money she saves will go toward that goal.
The result of this is that she chooses something she really wants, and she usually allots 90% to the college savings fund.
Each year she and I send a picture and thank you card of her with the gift and the thermometer to all the people who contributed.
She is learning to budget, save, build a support network and be grateful all at once.
This has given us all a family ritual that is deeply meaningful and exciting to everyone. And because we never reveal how much any family member sent, everyone gets to participate without the more well off participants getting more attention. So one relative might send $5, and another $100, but they all get the picture and thank you card equally. I don’t want my daughter to value the relatives that are richer, I want her to value people who care.
My husband is still paying off $80,000 in student loans for his under graduate and graduate degree, and I never finished college because I refused to take student loans and couldn’t afford it otherwise.
My daughter will be able to go to any school she can get into, and graduate debt free.
And best of all my husband and I won’t have to mortgage our house/retirement to send her to college.