And it’s not just because we have no income. After having such a great month last month, I have been totally ignoring the budget this month. I think we’re in the right ballpark in all of our different spending categories, but I completely stopped writing things down. Why do I self-sabotage like this? I have a couple of ideas.
I hate taking the time to write things down. Even though it only takes a couple of minutes a day, I put it off, because it will be easy to catch up on tomorrow. Which it would be, if I actually got to it the next day. But I usually don’t. Now I’m about two weeks behind, and I know there will be some transactions from Walmart and Target where I won’t remember exactly what I bought. Was it food? Medicine? Paper products? It’s hard to categorize a budget, when you don’t know what you spent money on.
I also think it’s easier to justify spending if I don’t know exactly where I’m at. If I think I have enough money in the bank, it’s easier to spend money. If I know I only have $20 left in the clothing budget, I can’t justify the purchase of a $30 pair of shoes. It all comes down to not wanting to be honest with myself.
I justify spending extra money, because it’s been a rough month. I don’t actually think I deserve to spend, but I do use the excuse that I’m a bit frazzled. I’ve had to plan a birthday party, help my husband take care of a few things to get his business started, and adjust to having him home all day. Still, it isn’t a very good excuse for spending extra money and not keeping good records.
The bottom line is, I need a better organizational system. I’m a person the thrives on a schedule, and I don’t take change well. I need to re-read Getting Things Done and put the plan into practice. I also need to revisit Flylady and put some basic housekeeping plans back into practice. I think when the rest of my life is in order, my finances will fall into place also.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:12 am
I so know that feeling of “it seems like we have enough money so it is okay to spend this”…. ugh
You can get back on track!
October 24th, 2007 at 7:36 am
Don’t be *too* hard on yourself…but I’m glad you have a plan
October 24th, 2007 at 7:45 am
I too have hit a snag. I’ve been having INCREDIBLE urges to spend. Spend extra at the grocery, go out and eat, buy clothes @ the thrift store, etc. Dh and I even went to the movies Friday night!
It’s not like we have a huge budget surplus either. I need to buckle back down. I think because my half.com sales have dwindled and I’m not making so many payments to the CC, it’s bringing me down.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:37 am
We have those times every time someone gets sick in our house–and when people get sick they REALLY get sick (my eldest has seizures when she gets sick and my husband has severe asthma among other things.) We always lose track anytime things get stressful.
October 24th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Instead of writing things down every day, which would be an impossible goal for many, it may be better to set aside 30 minutes a week to do this. Save all your receipts, write down your cash/no-receipt expenses on the back of another receipt and save it for that time.
My husband and I have been tracking every penny for almost 10 years this way. Living off of two graduate student stipends while trying to stay out of debt will do that to you.
October 24th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I go through phases on how much I write down. Sometimes I keep close track other times I get lazy.
What is really wierd is that we tend to buy things when we can least afford it. Just went through this month. After alot stress and pressure the Wife and I decided before buying anything more we sit down and figure out out how it will fit in the budget. Whether we do it or not remains to be seen, but were hoping after this to get our accounts built back up.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
Remember that set backs happen and don’t be too hard on yourself! Your plan sounds like an excellent start back on the road to determination.
October 24th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Thanks everyone. I don’t think we ended up going too far over the budget, except for in eating out. That was mostly due to me being sick at the beginning of the month.
Still, I have a lot of work ahead of me, before I figure out the final numbers. I think more than anything I need a routine. I do well with routines. If I try to do things when I feel like it, I find I never feel like it.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:24 am
Cheer up Lynnae, You are doing great, especially given your current circumstances re: job change for your husband etc. You will get a routine going soon, and it will work for you in the LONG run, which - in the end - is all that matters!
October 25th, 2007 at 3:57 am
I think you should find a job.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:50 am
@debtfretter - Thanks. I think my first priority this weekend is to come up with a routine.
@danielle - Believe me, finding a job has crossed my mind. However, my husband has way more earning power than I do, and if I were to work too, most of my earnings would be eaten by daycare. So I do what I can from home, and I probably bring in as much (and some months more) income as I would if I had a job and had to pay daycare. So I stay home.
October 25th, 2007 at 6:03 am
Your children are school aged. They wouldn’t need daycare if you just got something part time while they were in school. Even if they did need something after school, the cost is low for school agers. It wouldn’t even have to be daycare, it could be an activity. I think the idea that childcare eats up an entire income is a myth. I make $8 an hour, and pay $90 a week for daycare. I have my own checking account with direct deposit and online bill pay, and I have kept the whole running statement with all of the proof that it was “worth it” financially for me to work. It’s shown whenever I have paid daycare, and it’s shown all the household bills I have paid as well. And we don’t have debt. If you have a college degree, then you do have earning power. I think it’s ok to admit it if you don’t want to work. But to state that daycare would “eat up your salary”, that’s a myth, and in my opinion, not really fair to your kids. By saying that, in my opinion, you are imposing the blame on them for your own choices.
October 25th, 2007 at 6:22 am
@Danielle - I appreciate your insight, but my youngest child is not school aged. He’s in preschool three mornings a week for 2.5 hours. Daycare in our area runs about $200 a week. I know, because I used to provide daycare. And I have a B.A. in sociology….that degree isn’t in real demand. Work experience is limited to cashiering at target, working at group homes for the disabled, and in-home childcare. The first two pay minimum wage.
In-home childcare might be an option, but it impacts my family too much. My kids hated it when I did it, because I couldn’t take them to soccer practice and other activities. So, yes, it’s my choice not to do that anymore. And I think it’s better for my family.
I still maintain that the income I bring in from blogging and ebay is about the same as I’d bring in from a minimum wage job after paying daycare for my son. And my husband is fully supportive of me staying home, at least until Sam is in school full time, so it works for us.
We may not agree on this one, but I do appreciate your taking the time to comment. It’s nice to hear other opinions.
October 25th, 2007 at 6:52 am
Hey, I see we have another Heather lol, I decided to put my blog name in place of my real name so we( I) won’t get confused
I need to get better organized too. I lost track on how many no spend days we had!
If you ever feel down or like you are not keeping up the way you would like just go back and reread your entries on your blog, they are so very inspiring and then give yourself a Pat on your back,you have done so well!
October 25th, 2007 at 7:08 am
In your story, you state that your son was born in 2002. That would put him at 5 years old. I was just doing the math.
Several of the parents at my daughter’s daycare make minimum wage, and therefore qualify for grants from the childcare licensing agencies. Here, it’s called Neighborhood Centers, Inc, or NCI. Both single moms and dual income married couples get NCI benefits if they make under a certain amount. I don’t qualify, because I make just barely the max, however, childcare expenses are still a tax deduction. My daycare director will give me at the end of the year, a form similar to W2, to file with income tax. That means that all the money I pay into daycare gets knocked off of my income, and I get even more back- *on top of* the credit you already get just for having kids. Most people I talk to say they get most of it back.
I do not think in-home childcare is a good option for at home moms. If you don’t believe women should work outside the home, then the guilt of making money off of something you don’t believe in might eat at you. There’s also no accountability there for you. No one to share the workload.
I am not telling you these things because I think you SHOULD work. But, if it was me, I would be trying to figure stuff out beyond frugality. Frugality doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t know if you already know the things I am telling you (about tax breaks and grants), but if you don’t, then it’s worth looking into.
If childcare in that area is that expensive, you can probably still get a grant if you make twice the minimum wage.
October 25th, 2007 at 7:44 am
@NKUWTJ (like the abbreviation? :)) - thanks! I haven’t gone back and read in a while, and that was one of my purposes in starting this blog. I think I will take your advice.
@Danielle - I see where you’re coming from. When my husband is working, we generally make a few thousand a year over the point where we’d see any form of assistance. If I added to that with any sort of income, we’d definitely be way over.
And I don’t want to give the impression that I only try to get by on my frugality. I’m pretty resourceful in bringing in a small income that doesn’t require childcare. In the past I’ve done a fair amount of selling on ebay, I do OK with blogging, and take on odd jobs here and there. So it’s not like I’m not contributing at all. And while my husband is trying to get his copywriting business off the ground, I’m doing a lot of work to help him out.
Definitely if my husband’s unemployment lasts a great length of time, we’re going to have to consider all options, including me going to work. We’re not at that point yet, and I doubt we’ll get there. My husband has a lot of sales experience, and I’m sure he’ll be employed again soon. Salespeople are always in demand.
October 25th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
@Danielle-you bring up a lot of very good points regarding childcare and investigating ways to pay for others to care for our children while we eek out a paycheck. Like they adage goes, where there’s a will, there’s a way! However, just because Lynnae isn’t out of the house earning an income doesn’t mean she isn’t working. Sounds like she has plenty of work to do at home, income producing or not.
@Lynnae-Flylady rocks! My whole life would be CHAOS without her gracious approach to life/home management…I love how she joins us SHE’s in accomplishing what we’ve set out to do, never haveing a air of authority, but more like “I’ve been where you are”. One of her favorite sayings “you are never behind, just jump in where you are!” motivates me to keep pressing on!
Sounds like you and your husband have been very thoughtful and creative in looking at work/home/family in all different angles with the long term vision you have for your family. As far as “contributing”…just because you don’t have a paycheck direct deposited into the checking account biweekly doesn’t mean you aren’t “contributing.” There is way more that goes into “managing a home” than feeding and clothing everybody. Just keep your eyes on the goal(Phil 3:12-21), press on to what you know you’ve been called to do!
October 25th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
My perfectionist self is cringing at all of the grammar and punctuation errors in my previous post…but I will resist the urge to correct them. Flylady would be proud!
October 25th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
@Ann, Flylady WOULD be proud! And thank you for your encouragement! I’m a perfectionist too, but I can tell you at almost 10 pm, I’m not noticing grammar mistakes. I’m probably making a lot of them as I’m working my way through my blog visits tonight.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:19 am
Ann- I do not think that she “isn’t working”. I was trying to help her financial situation, not unjustify that being at home is work. If you are in a financial bind, it does matter to an extent if the work you do is paid or not.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:04 am
@danielle - “If you are in a financial bind, it does matter to an extent if the work you do is paid or not.” You are absolutely right on that point, and I do appreciate your concern.