Well, it happened. I can’t say it was a surprise. Sales were down, and my husband was the new man on the totem pole. He lost his job yesterday. At this point we are officially without an income, and we have about one month’s worth of expenses left in our emergency fund before we have to break open our retirement savings.
So how are we handling this? There are several things we’re doing to make our way through this financial mess. First, we realize that we are on the same team. It won’t do any good for me to blame my husband. And it’s not any good if he blames himself. The situation is what it is, and we need to work together if we hope to get through this without hurting our marriage. We’re off to a good start. :)
Second, we need to prioritize our expenses and cut back on whatever we can. Our rent has to be paid. We need food. We need clothes. We need gas and electricity. Anything beyond that is optional. The next tier of priorities includes our cars, car insurance, life insurance, an internet connection, and a phone. These things aren’t necessary for living, but they’re extremely useful in getting around and finding a job. Finally come the completely optional expenses: satellite TV, extra-curricular activities, eating out, our Blockbuster Online membership. If we find that the prospects don’t look good for my husband getting a job soon, these last things will be the first that are slashed from our budget.
We also need to network. Most jobs are found through people you know, so it’s important for my husband to get himself out there and talk to people about getting a job. This should be easy for him, as he’s a pretty social guy, and he likes talking to people. He’s also got his resume up at Monster.com and Career Builder. Meanwhile, we’re still working hard at getting his copywriting business off the ground. It’s never good to put all your eggs in one basket, so we’re diversifying our efforts to bring in an income.
Finally, we’re resting in the fact that God is in control. We may suffer. We may suffer a lot, actually. We may be stripped down to nothing but food, clothing, and shelter. But we’ll be OK. We’re in a scary place, but I know God has something in store for us. Hopefully we’ll find out what that is soon.
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OH I’m so sorry! I know your husband will find a great job soon!
I’m sorry to hear about this setback. Hopefully your husband will get a job he enjoys soon. I share your confidence that everything will turn out ok.
Lynnae I am sending you and your husband good, positive vibes. I have a stomach ache just reading this. You sound calm and collected, that’s good.
Good luck and great attitude realizing you are both on the same side. Sometimes it seems that would eliminate most arguments out there and yet the two parties can’t see that fact. It sounds like you two are on the right path.
I’m praying for you and your family … keep the faith!
oh no…I’m so sorry Lynnae. I will pray for you and your family.
(have you been to the LLNOE forums? They might be able to give you ideas during this time)
Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts, everyone!
@Erin – I have been to the LLNOE forums. I haven’t been there in a while, though. I’ll have to visit soon!
I’m so sorry to hear this Lynnae. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry that happened! You’ll absolutely pull through this, I know it!
Words just seem trite, I keep typing and erasing. I will prayer for you all. I KNOW you will come out of this stronger than you went in.
God bless you with joy, hope, faith, strength & much favor
Maria
I am so very sorry to hear this.
Hang in there. I did have a thought regarding extracurricular activities. When I taught piano and students parents fell on hard times, I could usually work out some kind of trade, like babysitting my younger kids for a few hours each week in exchange for lessons, other things I’ve traded for have been housecleaning & manicures. I know my friend who owns a dance studio will trade dance classes to parents willing to help sew costumes & build sets for the recitals.
I’m very sorry to hear about your husband’s job. Best wishes and prayers that a wonderful job comes along quickly.
I’m sorry, that’s so scary. You seem to be handling this amazingly well – I would be a basket case. I hope things turn around for you sooner than later.
OH, I am so sorry for you and your family, but I know everything will work out for the better. I’ll be praying for your family.
Sorry to hear that he lost his job. That is tough. But it sounds like you both are going to get thru this and be stronger on the other side. Sticking together is great advice, thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate them.
@Chief Family Officer – that’s a great idea, and I will look into it. Fortunately we usually take a break from extra-curriculars after fall soccer is over, so we’re current with everything we’re doing now.
May this only be a blip in the road that you barely remember. Prayers to your family for peace and a quick job search that leads to a wonderful job that your husband loves.
I’m so sorry that your husband lost his job. Much luck to him in finding a new job.
I think it is so great how you already have a plan. I think it is good for all of us to honestly look at our expenses to decide which ones are necessary and which are completely expendable.
Praying really hard for you and Shannon *hugs*
I haven’t been able to figure out if your husband graduated from college, but if he did many have alumni placement departments that assist former graduates that have experience in their field in getting another job. Just an idea of another place to look. Also we are discovering that most companies only look at people who submit applications through their company website.
Hope some of that was helpful for you. Best wishes.
Thanks everyone.
@Marie – yes my husband did graduate from college. The local college, actually. And I do believe they have an alumni placement department. I’ll have him check it out. Thanks!
Even though you’ve been given a bum deal, you ought to be applauded for your positive and constructive attitude throughout this so far. You’re right – you’ll save your marriage, and this will ultimately be a blip on the screen if you play your cards right, trust in the universe, and stay calm.
Continue to analyze every dollar that goes out the door and the necessity for that expense.
As for the life insurance, my recommendation is not to cancel it (as long as it is term insurance. If it is whole life or universal life, consider a premium holiday or reduction in required premiums). All you need is for something to happen to hubby’s or your health, and then when you try to re-apply when you’re back up on your feet you might not be accepted, or would be highly rated.
Good luck, many people are rooting for you!
I appreciate your positive attitude. Never let that go. We too have been without my husband’s income for the last four months. We never changed at lifestyle even in the absence of that income.
Keep the faith, and keep those priorities in order.
I appreciate your positive attitude. Never let that go. We too have been without my husband’s income for the last four months. We never changed at lifestyle even in the absence of that income.
Keep the faith, and keep those priorities in order.
So sorry to hear about your husbands job loss. I wish you the best of luck. Keep your head up!
Sounds like you’ve got your situation straight at least. You’re in a much better position to weather the storm than many people are. *virtual hugs*
God bless, and may this become an exciting new opportunity for him!
I wish you the best of luck, Lynnae. I hope he gets a job that he will truly enjoy. In the meantime, can he collect unemployment?
Thanks.
@Nora – we do have term life insurance, and the only way we’d cancel it is if the choice was between the term life insurance and living on the street.
@Hilda – My husband should be able to collect unemployment. He filed today, so that will help our emergency fund stretch a little bit further.
Lynnae, my heart and prayers are with you and your family.
You and your dh seem to have a good plan, that will give you a bit of time until he scores that new job which will be even better then the ones he had before :)
Hey Lynnae, I did a search and there are A LOT of companies hiring for ad people and such in Madison WI ;)
I’m praying for you guys and I KNOW God’s got plans for you…and they are for GOOD and not destruction…
I’m so sorry, Lynnae. I hope it all works out for your family very soon. I’m sure it will.
Make sure to continue to encourage your husband during this time. Being laid off can be hard and he might need that extra boost of confidence to help him find that next job. Good luck to both of you!
embrace frugal living. by that I mean find cheap or free alternatives to things that used to cost you money. Read newspapers at the library rather than buying them. This way you won’t feel as deprived. Positive is once your back to work the new habits will stay and you continue to live well below your means.
good luck
Good attitude. It looks like it is the trial of faith time, Do the right thing and things will work out.
So sorry to hear about this Lynnae. You were smart to be expecting it! Seems like the readers have some great ideas and you are right, it is in His hands and all you can do is wait to see where the ride ends up! Maybe that is another reason why you rent? Maybe you do have to think about going a little furthur out somewhere to get him a good job instead of beating a dead market? Just a thought.
I’ve been there. My husband was unemployed for 13 months. We did not think it would last that long when the company failed. After 6 months my faith was tested. We did not want to relocate. My husband became very creative after our savings and investments(no penalty attached) were gone. I would pay the bills that I could, pray about it and let it go, because worrying about it wasn’t going to change anything. Ebay was very good for us. My husband knows medical equipment and he found a supplier who had a warehouse of equipment that wasn’t selling. Thus my husband was able to keep us afloat. So hang in there. I pray that his unemployment won’t be as long as my husbands. Communicate with one another because it will put stress on your marriage and never blame him if the unemployment lasts longer than you expect. My husband secured a job with the government June 2007.
Oh that stinks! :(
Ugh. You sound so mellow. I would be all crazy. Hats off to you.
Many hugs and wishes for the perfect opportunity to present itself. I am pulling for you.
Yup, God is in control and I am sure He will provide for you guys!!!
If your hubby is looking on the web then Simplyhired.com and indeed.com are great job aggregator search sites that searches a lot of job boards and they could save a lot of time. I’ve also found a lot of great people and companies on craigslist.org. I’m not sure if craigslist is big in your area but it’s a good place to find connections. Anyway, blog on sister!
Hi Lynnae, sorry to hear about your husbands job loss, I have been through this myself so I am sending good thoughts your way:)
Thanks, everyone.
@the baglady – I will definitely look into those sites. Thanks! I’ve been keeping an eye on our craigslist, though it doesn’t seem to be big for employment opportunities in our area. Still, it never hurts to look.
I am so sorry you are going through such tough times right now. You are being a very good wife to support your husband like this. Yes, most definitely you guys are a team. Support him well and I am sure he will make you proud by trying his hardest to provide for the family financially.
God bless
-Raymond
I am so sorry to hear of your job loss and income situation. I pray that your job situation gets better before you start to dig into savings.
Our economy is slowly sinking, and I fear that all of us will be impacted before long.
Best of luck…
Hi,
My husband has lost his job, about a year ago. We are both Christians and are trusting God to provide. Sometimes we look at the mountain which gets bigger than our God. My husband is 62 and has held an executive position for the last 30 years. I have been a stay at home mom. We sold everything, Praise God we were able to sell out house. But not at any profit we only had a few months to sell it, and it was truly a blessing from the Lord. We are renting now, and have five months to decide which direction to go. I know all things work together for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Lord Bless you. I will believe your blessing from the Lord.
One thing I have learned through the years is that everything works itself out. Everything. That has been my experience and I have had some dismal and seemingly down right hopeless times in my life. Best of luck. ~Larry
hi my name is Jen and I’m in the same possition as u I dont know how to comfort him I know we will be fine but he feels hopeless I wish I could make him feel better But were in God’s hands so I understand ur situation much love
I’m sorry to hear about this. My husband just lost his job 2 weeks ago, and I thought I was handling it ok, but I’m so down. That was our only income.
I think millions of Ameicans are in the same position as you. I know my husband and I. We have cut out all the things you mentioned.
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Hi there,
Oh boy can I relate to what you and your husband are going through. The very thing just happened to my husband. It is I think a shock for us because it has never taken place ever in his career.
I hope you get back on your feet, he finds an even better job quickly and all is well soon. I know in my heart that if I keep my faith in God my husband and our child will be able to get through this and so will you.
Best of Luck to you : )
Thank you so much for these inspirational words… My husband lost his job Friday, and I have been pestering him about getting unemployment, finding another job, “how did you let this happen?”, etc. I know now I need to let go and let God. Funny how those types of euphemisms hit home when the problem is personal. :) Thanks again!
Well, I just came across this one….now I am curious to see how you have made out. Are you still married? Has anything good come of your hardship?
We have had similar issues, but they have gone on for a long time. Actually, rather than to draw us closer together, it has worn us down to where everything is a struggle. My husband lost a very good job about 10 yrs. ago, at the age of 52. Because of his age, and job shortage in product management in the semi-conductor industry, he was unable to get a position after trying for more than a year, so he got his real estate license, and since that time, eight years ago, he battled cancer. I am a nurse, but that job took a lot out of me, and after the death of several friends and also my sister, I did retire last year from nursing. His real estate business ( he is a broker and owner of a real estate company), has taken a hard hit due to the economy. We have lost our entire retirement plan which we worked for many years to carry. That was of course because of the downturn in the economy. We have been forced to reconfigure our home to allow us to rent out a portion of it to help with the mortgage. This has affected our privacy.
We never go anywhere on holiday, not even local trips, unless it is to go to England to visit his family, because it is what he wants to do. Now my son is getting married and my husband is griping that we have been asked to pay for a rehearsal dinner for 20 people and also we had agreed to provide the music. Of course this is not his son, and so he can make me feel guilty.
So, in a nutshell, not having many bright spots on the horizon soon clouds the vision. I don’t know where this will end. I am 60, he is nearly 62, so we will draw social security as soon as we can. We have no health insurance at the moment, and this is not a good thing. I suppose I could go back to nursing, but the job was killing me and I am not willing to die for that.
We have already lost so much. We had to short sell our other 2 investment properties last year and that was to have been our retirement. We have also lost $200,000 in this current property and cannot afford to sell it as it would cost more money to move to a cheaper house. Luckily it is only ourselves that we have to bother about, as my children are grown. My ex husband has always provided for the kids, and that is one reason why I am upset with my current husband of 23 yrs, because over this long period of time, we have done very little for my kids. Their dad paid for college, he has money, so he can do these things. Money talks, it is unfortunate but true.
My husband was very poor as a child and for his entire life he has had to work for what he has. He feels everyone should have the same situation and I think this selfishness and tight fistedness has been one reason why we have had to continue to struggle. Whatever……..I am very depressed because I walk around feeling guilty about everything. I don’t question him when he sends his mom money or buys her little things, and now with my son getting married and my daughter engaged, he is being even more tight fisted. I hate it. I honestly feel that I would leave, if I could, but I cannot even do that. If I had to go back to work at the hospital, I am most certain that the stress of that would kill me.
When things really look bad is when you need all the best communication skills you can muster to keep your marriage together. It’s hard but not impossible. Look for opportunities wherever you can.
Good Luck!
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