[...] Be honest and [...]

[...] for your question! I’m not even going to touch on the right or wrong of this – different strokes for different folks. Not every couple manages their money [...]

[...] Do you keep secrets from your spouse? – BeingFrugal.net [...]

[...] Do you keep secrets from your spouse? – BeingFrugal.net [...]

That said, my wife duped me for the third time in our eight year marriage. She managed to run up ~50K in debt on nine credit cards of which I was unaware. We had this problem two times before much to my shock and horror, each time I cleaned up the mess and sacrificed to pay down the debt. She promised it wouldn’t happen again. She lied! It is wrong!! Period!!!

If I did this to my employer, I would be doing jail time. If I did this to someone off the street whom I have no legal relation to, I would be doing jail time. Somehow, within the sphere of a marriage, this is perfectly legal to do to your spouse. Wrong, traumatizing, but legal.

I am divorcing my wife of nine years after being lied to an manipulated one too many times. It’s amazing the scale of the lies she told. Not just one or two big lies but multiple “maintenance” lies to keep the deception going over an extended period of time. Unfortunately, my daugther will suffer as well for my wifes foolishness. How can you ever dig your way out a hole? What a fool.

If you are a spouse who is engaging in this type of activity take heed. You are hurting those near to you in a way that you cannot even imagine. I would rather that my wife had an adulterous affair. It wouldn’t have cost me ~100K and all of the missed opportunities that go with it.

Debt = owed money. Owed money = time & energy to pay back. Time & energy = your life, your precious time here on earth. Debt is waste.

However, I believe there are situations that might require it. In my first marriage, I was a battered wife for fifteen years. He controlled all the money, and I had little or no access to any unless he gave it to me or gave me specific permission of how much I could spend. If I went even one dollar over, I had to go back to the store and return something and bring back “his money”.

Due to mitigating/religious/cult circumstances, my family was of no help. When I made the decision to escape the marriage, I managed to get a part time job for six months without my husband ever knowing about it, putting every penny into a secret account in order to afford my divorce lawyer and move out of state.

I will never forget the look of shock on his face when he received his divorce papers, at the very moment I was driving away from our house for the very last time. Some situations might require hiding money, it can sometimes save people’s lives.

[...] we don’t keep secrets from each other. I’ve written about this before, but I think it’s worth repeating. Honesty is important in marriage. If you’re lying to [...]